Glossary of TPL Terms

Over the years, we’ve received a handful of requests for a glossary because it can be difficult to keep track of our (and other site’s) nicknames. I’m sure this list will grow exponentially, but in the meantime — I present a handful of TPL Terms.

For additional nicknames, please visit The Things We Call Wings, a site that was contributed to by the entire Red Wings community.

Amazon :: Jakub Kindl. Makes too much sense.

Bear :: Dan Cleary. Nickname given to him by his teammates thanks to his man-gorgeous red playoff beard.

Buckets :: Dan Cleary. The story belongs to Abel to Yzerman.

Budd Lynch Goals :: Goals scored during the “last minute of play in this period.”

Cirque :: Ruslan Salei. An obvious play on Cirque du Soleil, and genius. All credit to commenter Amer.

Contuzzi :: With Todd Bertuzzi’s imminent signing with the Red Wings prior to the 2009-10 season, fans occupied two very distinct sides of the argument, either they were very much for the signing — or very much against it. Contuzzi was the term given for those against the signing. See also: Protuzzi.

Culo :: Tomas Holmstrom. Because his ass is always in the opposing goaltender’s face.

Danger :: Darren Helm. I have no idea where this one came from.

Dangles :: Pavel Datsyuk. This one wrote itself.

Diamond, The :: Refers to Andrea Lilja’s brilliant player-agent, Todd Diamond. We have a strange, yet actual, relationship with the man.

Eavesed :: Formulated by the collective greatness the second night of H2H while watching this shootout attempt, Eavesed is a term that describes someone falling down for no apparent reason.

EMOdano :: The name given to Sad Mike Modano after lacerating a tendon in his wrist. All credit to commenter @sigsegfelt. See this post.

Flapjack :: Valtteri Filppula

Flip :: Valtteri Filppula

Floodgates :: Chris Osgood. Given during his season of catastrophe.

Gator :: Justin Abdelkader

Glassjaw :: Andreas Lilja. Homeboy was put out of commission for over a year after a shot to the chin from Nashville’s Shea Weber.

High Life :: Drew Miller. Miller High Life. Get it?

Homer :: Tomas Holmstrom

Jailsex :: It’s just kind of our thing. It started on the 300th post of the site, where we listed the words that had been uttered the most, and @JJfromKansas stated that he wouldn’t rest until “jailsex” made it onto that list. We happily agreed and have worked it into most of the posts since then.

Leino Lounge :: The press box when occupied by healthy scratches. Prior to his trade to Philadelphia, Ville Leino spent so much time up there, we assume he began DJing.

Loins :: Dan Cleary. A reference to how often he has a groin tear or something else catastrophic in the crotchal region.

Loss Candy :: We like to give Wings Nation something good to think about instead of all the crap that floats around our skulls following a tough Wings loss. Scantily clad ladies and gents make everyone feel better.

Middle Reliever :: Henrik Zetterberg. Following a particularly egregious headline from The Tennessean which described Pavel Datsyuk as a defenseman, the boys at Winging it in Motown started throwing around other random positions for players on the Red Wings. The one that made us chuckle the hardest was “Middle Reliever Henrik Zetterberg” coined by Casey Richey.

Mulo :: Johan Franzen. Franzen’s common nickname in Red Wings circles is “The Mule.” Well, Petrella’s grandma can’t say that. With her thick Italian accent, his name became Mulo. And it stuck.

Nodano :: Like Todd Bertuzzi’s signing in 2009, fans were divided regarding Mike Modano’s addition to the Red Wings roster. Nodano was the term given for those against the signing. See also: Prodano.

OCF :: Operation: Curly Fries. We won, beefy bitches. Courtesy of @Amerinadian19: “The revolution of epic proportions that restored Curly Fries to their rightful place as reward for a Red Wings hat trick.” We were happy to be the voicebox for Red Wings Nation. We heard your cries…and so did Arby’s. WIN.

Prodano :: Like Todd Bertuzzi’s signing in 2009, fans were divided regarding Mike Modano’s addition to the Red Wings roster. Prodano was the term given for those for the signing. See also: Nodano.

Protuzzi :: With Todd Bertuzzi’s imminent signing with the Red Wings prior to the 2009-10 season, fans occupied two very distinct sides of the argument, either they were very much for the signing — or very much against it. Protuzzi was the term given for those for the signing. See also: Contuzzi.

Riggy Shitbox :: Jonathan Ericsson. See Shitbox.

Rusty :: Ruslan Salei.

Scuttles :: Jiri Hudler. We’ve been calling Hudler “Scuttles” since long before we launched TPL. We dare you to tell us he doesn’t skate like this.

Shetuzzi :: See this post.

Shiny Nickel :: Nicklas Lidstrom.

Shitbox :: Jonathan Ericsson. Petrella-coined on The Twitter.

SNP :: Drew Miller. Stands for “Salt ‘N Pepper,” a reference to Drew Miller’s prematurely graying mane.

Thunderchief :: Todd Bertuzzi. In the comments of the Commonly Misheard Lyrics post, it was decided “Thunderchief” was a natural nickname for Bert. Credit to @Flapjack_McZap.

Tiberius :: Jimmy Howard. Coined in the old old days of Classic TPL (Jan. 7, 2010), we’re proud to see that it’s grown to be a near-universal nickname.

Tick Tock :: General Manager Ken Holland. This does not belong to us, but we’ve adopted it, like the rest of Red Wings Nation.

Uncle Mike :: Head Coach Mike Babcock. This does not belong to us, but we’ve adopted it, like the rest of Red Wings Nation.

Willa :: Mike Modano. A reference to Mrs. Modano, Willa Ford.

Willi Vanilli :: Jason Williams. So plain and vanilla, he needed a nickname.