SPOTTED: EMOdano
If you’ve been a reader of TPL since way back when, you surely recall posts calling for sightings of Mantuzzi — and Shetuzzi. Brave patriots far and wide commented on those two stories, letting us know where they’d spotted the vile beasts in their day-to-day lives, and everyone was appreciative.
Well, thanks to our good friend @MrNorrisTrophy from Winging it in Motown, we have physical proof of the existence of another frightening character. It’s a man-child that was introduced to you by our very own Christopher J. F. C. Hollis. “Sad Mike” was around the team last week, infecting them with his boohoohoos and subtle wrist bandages. Now we have a photograph, and we turn to you to help us piece together where he’s been since that visit to the locker room.
Take a look at the photo below — and join us in the comments to let us know where you’ve seen him and what he was doing…
Bonus points for anyone that can get this photo up in their local Hot Topic.
EMOdano was spotted browsing Craigslist for a Vespa WITH pegs and a windshield in case Willa wants a ride.
1. MySpace
2. At the local MCR show
3. With his “friend” (though as a true emo he has no friends) at the supermarket comparing razorblades, discussing which one is best for cutting oneself.
On #3… dood, guess he didn’t find those razers, ’cause he decided to slice his wrist with Umberger’s skate instead.
I had one too (http://redwingsbrasil.blogspot.com/2010/12/contra-san-jose.html), but this one is much better.
Oh man, I missed the photo… and I just went and saw it. That is EXCELLENT. You and Casey need to have an EMOphtoshop-off.
Oh man, I missed the photo… and I just went and saw it. That is EXCELLENT. You and Casey need to have an EMOphtoshop-off.
I once saw EMOdano carving broken hearts into the ice surface at the Joe after everybody had left.
I once saw EMOdano carving broken hearts into the ice surface at the Joe after everybody had left.
I once saw EMOdano standing behind the guardrail of a bridge with his arms held out to the sides as he looked skyward and wailed.
— Perched outside my bedroom window in a vain attempt to win my heart, strumming his guitar and wailing Dashboard Confessional.
— Crying in your arms before, doing, and after coitus.
— Doodling sketches in the margins of his papers because he wants to be a graphic artist and dude, he’s going to open up his own business if he can ever stay out of trouble, but that means he’s gotta commit to not stealing his stepsister’s Adderall.
— Blowing you off because he’s too busy watching The Crow. On repeat.
— Claiming NOT to know what the original version of “chain mail” is when you compliment him on his self-crafted straightjacket composed entirely of lengths of dog chain. He claims he invented the style. At age three. While crafting the third codicil to his own will.
— Wondering if Alexander Ovechkin has any leftover rope from that NHL commercial in case, you know, shit gets a little too real.
I’d like to point out that I read “doing” (before, during, and after) as “doing” like the sound a spring makes. That is all.
Genius!
In Hot Topic trying on black and red hoodies in a size too small.
(You also realize I’m going to have to draw this one too.)
I saw him tearing up his 100 dollar jeans in hour 3 or his 5 hour process to look like he just got up.
I can’t really top any of this stuff but can I suggest an EMOdano shirt for the TPL Store?
Funny thing, I was just in my local Whole Foods (actually, the WF headquarters here in Austin…it’s the bomb)…s in the bulk foods section looking for some grains to keep my “business regular” and I looked over…wouldn’t ya know…it was EModano filling up a bag of quinoa wearing a Shins shirt and complaining to someone about how the consolidation of radio stations nationally under Clearwater’s evil rule was ruining people’s ability to “feel anything.”
I saw him:
1) hanging out behind the local Sonic smoking cloves and reading his poetry to anyone who would listen
2) On a corner downtown with his acoustic guitar. Not playing for money, just making sure everyone knows his anguish
3) getting thrown out of Bennigans for being there for 4 hours and only buying the bottomless cup of coffee while he writes poetry.
4) sitting in a local coffee shop on his laptop voting for Jr. Roast Beef, because everyone else wants curly fries, and going against public opinion is soooo cool.
Forgot to tell you guys, EModano stopped by my Starbucks when I was closing on Wednesday, whining that I wouldn’t give him free soy milk and then downing his latte in record time (so he could go check out the hoodies in the juniors department) after complaining that I didn’t make it right (any other baristas can back me up on this…)