Mar 21 :: We’re on a mission from God
![](http://www.theblackninja.com/images/movie/blues_brothers/blues_brothers_the_penguin.png)
WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
Red Wings and Penguins, Monday night at 7:30pm Eastern. It’s not your classic Wings/Pens game, since they’ll be without Crosby and Malkin; and the Wings are without Franzen and Datsyuk.
NOW WHERE WERE WE?
This is the second time they’ve played — the first was a 4-1 loss on January 18.
BEST NAME NOMINEE
Zbynek Michalek.
THEIR LAST GAMES
:: Detroit can’t beat the Predators, falling 3-1 on Saturday.
:: Pittsburgh lost 5-2 to the Rangers yesterday. Matt “Shocker” Cooke did something stupid.
EXPECTED LINEUP
By special request, the TPL Glossary is ready to jailsex your eyes.
Cleary — Zetterberg — Bertuzzi
Filppula — Modano — Abdelkader
Eaves — Helm — Miller
Draper — Holmstrom
Lidstrom — Ericsson
Kronwall — Stuart
Kindl — Rafalski
Salei
Howard
MacDonald
OUT
Jiri Hudler [H2N2 flu]
Chris Osgood [groin asploded]
Johan Franzen [connecticazoink]
Pavel Datsyuk [lower body]
The TPL Name Game “Three Stars”
Disch: Jiri “One Unused Prophylactic…One Soiled” Hudler
Petrella: Jiri “How Much For The Little Girls?” Hudler
Hollis: Jiri “Your Women. I Want to Buy Your Women. The Little Girl. Your Daughters. Sell Them to Me. Sell Me Your Children” Hudler
Jesus, do we think alike or what?
*Now it’s up to you! Think up your best names and throw them in the comments — the best one will be shared for all to enjoy on the TPL Facebook Page. The best of the best will be pitted against one another at season’s end, and the winner takes home a TPL Shirt of their choice.*
TIDBITS
:: The Wings are without Pavel Datsyuk and Johan Franzen for some reason… even though it was Brian Rafalski and Patrick Eaves who have looked like they were shot with .44s the last couple games.
:: Detroit will dress seven defensemen and eleven forwards since they can’t call anyone up because Chris Osgood came off of IR only to decide he can’t dress as a backup yet.
:: Pittsburgh will be without Matt Cooke after his Street Fighter haduken to Ryan McDonaugh’s head.
:: PREDICTION — Red Wings 4, Penguins 2. The Penguins aren’t their usual selves, though still very good.
WHAT WE LEARNED AGAINST THE PREDATORS
Reallllly hoping they don’t sew up the 7 seed.
Nicklas “powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.” Kronwall
Jonathan “contemptible pig” Ericsson
Darren “Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration” Helm
Matt “Use of unnecessary violence” Cooke
Jonathan “I don’t believe it. It’s that shitbox” Ericsson
Darren ‘Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don’t fail me now’ Helm
Todd ‘Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of Matt Cooke HAS been approved’ Bertuzzi
Wow…great minds…. Didn’t see Kjell’s comments before posting mine.
Johan “look, an Orange Julius” Franzen
Todd “Oh, yeah, $200, and you boys drank $300 worth of beer” Bertuzzi
Johan “you got to learn not to talk to nuns that way” Franzen