Apr 9 :: You’re the Best…. AROUND!

On By mpetrella
See this, old man? This is how many games Todd Bertuzzi has left to score two goals after tonight.

WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
Red Wings and Blue Jackets – hey, that sounds familiar – Friday, 7pm. The great state of Ohio plays host to hockey and shitty drivers alike. 
WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?
Two games left…Detroit got no help from Phoenix last night. The Wings could STILL finish anywhere from fifth to eighth, pending the outcomes of other games.
1 :: S.J. :: 81 GP :: 50 W :: 111 PTS

2 :: CHI :: 80 GP :: 51 W :: 109 PTS [at Colorado tonight]

3 :: VNC :: LOCKED INTO THIRD SEED
4 :: PHX :: LOCKED INTO FOURTH SEED
5 :: L.A. :: 80 GP :: 45 W :: 98 PTS
6 :: DET :: 80 GP :: 42 W :: 98 PTS
7 :: NSH :: 81 GP :: 46 W :: 98 PTS
8 :: COL :: 80 GP :: 43 W :: 94 PTS [vs. Chicago tonight; anything but a victory clinches 8th]
NOW WHERE WERE WE?
We were Wednesday. That’s where we were. The Wings won 4-3 against a Nashless Blowjay team that has nothing to play for except unsportsmanlike conduct minors. 
THEIR LAST GAMES
Oh weird, it’s like Donnie Darko’s intersecting universes thing right here… each of their last games was against the other. Trippy. 
RECORDS
–Detroit Red Wings :: 42-24-14 (2nd in Central, 6th in West) :: 17-14-8 on the road.
–Columbus Blowjax :: 32-35-14 (5th in Central, 14th in West) :: 20-12-8 at home.
EXPECTED LINEUP
Franzen — Datsyuk — Holmstrom
Bertuzzi — Zetterberg — Filppula
Eaves — Helm — Loins
Miller — Draper — Williams
Lidstrom — Rafalski
Kronwall — Stuart
Ericsson — Lilja
Howard (starting)
Osgood
Since his suggestions for Rocky were so awesome, I asked Drew from Nightmare on Helm Street to pitch in a few for this 80’s classic:
Scratch
Brett “We Both Know You Can Stomp Me, So Why Rub It In?” Lebda
Derek “Not Bonsai…BANZAI!” Meech
Injuries
Kirk “Out. Of. Commission.” Maltby
Honorable Mentions
Daniel “San” Cleary
Daniel “With an L” Cleary
Henrik “Everything Good” Zetterberg
Nicklas “We Make Sacred Pact” Lidstrom
Darren “You’re a Pushy Little Bastard Ain’t Ya” Helm
Niklas “Get Squish Like Grape” Kronwall
Brad “You… Pretty Okay, Too” Stuart
Jonathan “You All Wet Behind Ear” Ericsson
Jonathan “Afraid Facts Mixed Up” Ericsson
Jimmy “Five to One Problem, Too Much Ask Anyone” Howard
Patrick “You Karate Do ‘Guess So'” Eaves
Patrick “Hey, You Ever Get Into Fights When You Were a Kid?” Eaves
Brian “Why Can’t We Just Go Back to Jersey?!” Rafalski
Valtteri “No Get Hit” Filppula
Johan “Teacher Say, Student Do” Franzen
Andreas “Now Use Head for Something Other Than Target” Lilja
Mike “NO SENSAI” Babcock
Brad “No Such Thing as Bad Student, Only Bad Teacher” McCrimmon
Chris “Problem: Attitude” Osgood
Brad “No, the Problem is…I’m Getting My Ass Kicked Every Other Day” May
Dick “I Hate This Place! I HATE IT! I Just Want To Go Home. Why Can’t We Just Go Home?” Axelsson
Chris “You’ve Got Real Nerve Old Man” Chelios
Todd’s Corner
Todd “Mercy is for the Week” Bertuzzi
Todd “A Man Confronts You” Bertuzzi
Todd “HE IS THE ENEMY” Bertuzzi
Todd “Put Him in a Body Bag YEEAAAHH” Bertuzzi
Todd “STRIKE FIRST STRIKE HARD NO MERCY” Bertuzzi
Todd “I Think You Not Concentrate Enough” Bertuzzi
QUICK THOUGHTS
1. Well I wasn’t expecting Howard again, considering Uncle Mike said Osgood will start again before the end of the season.
2. Speaking of which, so much for resting guys like Nick Lidstrom. He said it was his preference to continue playing, and he got his wish. He made what might have been the worst play I’ve ever seen him make in his career against Umberger, so I bet he goes for a tiny bit of redemption. Still a cyborg, though.
3. How long until Todd Bertuzzi winds up and blasts a slapshot into someone’s legs tonight? Also, he’s gotta score a goal each night (or have a patented random two-goal outburst) for me to lose my bet with Andy.
4. Non-Red Wings-related note: Mike Modano got a beautiful standing ovation in Dallas last night, moments before sending the game into overtime and netting the game-winner in the shootout. A personal hockey hero of mine, and American kids everywhere – particularly in Michigan – and if he decides to call it a career, we should all stand and applaud. 
WHAT WE LEARNED vs. the Jackets
It’s SAT time. Steve Mason : 76 seconds :: Chris Osgood : 17 seconds
JACKET WE COVET (JJ Special)
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