Well, that was a straight-up ass kicking

Huzzah! The Red Wings showed up tonight, getting back at karma for kicking them in the ass on Steve Yzerman’s big night this past Saturday. Detroit scored niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine times (cue Edward Rooney), eight of them against defending Calder winner Steve Mason. For some reason, Blue Jackets backup goaltender Mathieu Garon came into the game after three first period goals, only to allow a first period tally of his own, and re-take his assigned seat at the end of the bench. The final score of the contest was 9-1. Happy Veteran’s Day, Ohio!

There were seven different goal scorers for the good guys tonight and, oddly, all of them scored their third goal of the season (though, Justin Abdelkader needed two to get there). Your goal scorers:

Cleary (3) from Zetterberg
Datsyuk (3) unassisted
Draper (3) from Lebda
Kronwall (3) from Cleary on the Power Play
Bertuzzi (3) from Zetterberg and Datsyuk
Leino (3) from Zetterberg and Lidstrom
Kronwall (4) from Rafalski and Bertuzzi on the Power Play
Abdelkader (2) from Eaves
Abdelkader (3) from May and Kronwall

TPL’S TAKE:
1. First of all, Brad May got his ASS KICKED in that fight. Let’s not kid ourselves, he threw a punch that was closer to hitting me than it was Jared Boll. He then fell down, and took two quick ones from his opponent, and was sent to the dressing room to get cleaned up.
2. Darren Helm was penalized in the third period, meaning Patrick Eaves is the only Red Wing left to visit the sin bin (besides Doug Janik and Drew Miller).
3. Jimmy Howard played well, but still had some trouble reigning in rebounds. He seemed to get a little more settled as the game went on, and he made the saves he needed to to keep the Wings composed.
4. That said, the Wings didn’t need much help, as the Blue Jackets took themselves out of the game very early, allowing three Wings goals in the first eight minutes of the game. It was all accelerator from opening faceoff until final whistle.
5. Where you at, Helm, Maltby, Ericsson and Stuart? The only four skaters who didn’t register a point tonight for the Wings. Punks.
6. Huge goal for Ville Leino. Aside from being of the highlight variety, he looked THRILLED to toss the monkey off of his back. He truly needed that one, and played with gusto the rest of the night. Almost got a second one, too…
7. Todd Bertuzzi FINALLY capitalized on countless chances he’s received the last few weeks. He should have had about six goals tonight, but in true Bertuzzi fashion found a way to flub great passes or shoot the puck directly at Mason’s back while the goaltender was checking out some girl (or guy, if that’s how he rolls) in the fourth row. He definitely need to pot one, and he did (though he nearly fell down doing it).
8. Dan Cleary had the line of the night, when reminded he has scored 14 (of his 101 career) goals against the Blue Jackets: “Well, thank God they’re in our division.”
9. Justin Abdelkader played that third period like a man possessed. His second goal was an end-to-ender, which he began behind Jimmy Howard, briefly dished to Brad May, re-acquired the puck and somehow slid it under Steve Mason, who — let’s face it — was probably more concerned about catching the end of Spongebob than he was playing net for the Blue Jackets tonight.
10. Jonathan Ericsson logged more minutes than anyone else tonight, and Nick Lidstrom only saw 16 minutes of action. Why not save him for a game that he’ll actually be needed, eh?

What’s next?
Another game tomorrow — this one at home. Luongo’s expected to go for the Vancouver Canucks, and one of the Sedins (I dunno… I’m not good at twins) might be returning to action. Join me in the Winging it in Motown game thread – chances are good my snark will make it there.