There’s no surprise in me telling you that the regular weekend parties at TPL world headquarters are not to be missed. Mysterious women. Extravagant food. Alcohol by the Mack truckload. Many a man and woman have emerged from TPLand on a Sunday morning (or afternoon), squinted their eyes and wondered aloud “What the hell just happened?” Those words are what drive us forward. Those feelings of euphoria and imminent vomiting are what make us special. Time and again, folks have asked us how we are capable of pulling of such feats of excellence on a regular basis, and our answer is always one word: Swagger.
Naturally, this weekend’s competition brought out the highest levels of confidence and arrogance that live in the hallowed halls of TPL. We pride ourselves on the belief that we are the elite in everything we do, whether it be uneducated blog posting, panty dropping or picking All Star fantasy lineups that all but guarantee us yet another trophy on the many, many mantles that adorn the walls here. A curse? Perhaps.
But it’s only on days like today where our pride is put slightly in check; when someone else rises to the occasion and challenges the beliefs that TPL is built upon. The gentlemen over at Winging It In Motown have become the latest in an incredibly short and abbreviated list to accomplish this staggering feat of luck, defeating us in the All Star fantasy challenge today by a score of 57.6-53.4. This blow hurts, don’t get me wrong. The three of us here felt like this contest was in the bag from the moment Michael Petrella uttered the words “Steven Stamkos,” and the blog posts in the days following the draft made no doubt about who we felt would emerge victorious in our noble battle. Alas, the fates aligned against us (despite our best efforts to pump Matt Duchene full of vodka all weekend) and Team WIIM walks away with the pride and the hardware.
So, in instances like these, there’s only one course of action befitting gentlemen of our stature. We stand up (without pants on, of course), button the cuffs of our expensive dress shirts, tighten the fine silk tie around our collar and stride confidently to the podium in the press room of TPL headquarters and announce the following:
“Congratulations WIIM. Job well done.”
On second thought, I guess there is one more course of action that is fitting for times like these…
Yes WIIM, you’re number one. Either that or he’s JJ’s number one fan.