Dec. 13 :: In a world of van chases… we’re your snow fortress
WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
Wings and Kings, 7:30pm Wednesday. They’ll fight the snow and non-Lions NFL traffic to make it happen.
WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?
Buried in this article, allegedly about Datsyuk and Zetterberg, Ansar Khan relays an interesting quote from Mike Babcock, wherein he says Jiri Hudler needs to earn his way out of the healthy scratch rotation, which is now four men deep (Miller, Eaves, Draper, Scuttlebutt). It’d be easy to argue that Miller and Eaves have already played their way out of that rotation, but they’re still mentioned as part of it, likely because of their contracts in comparison to bigger money guys like Hudler.
NOW WHERE WERE WE?
Just last Saturday, the Wings dropped an overtime decision to the Kings, but Brad Stuart was throwing weight like whoa. The game began an unimpressive three-game skid, but the Wings look to have righted the ship.
OH, HI AGAIN / MEMBA ME?! / BEST NAME NOMINEE
The aforementioned Stewie is the only player on either roster to have spent time on the other. And Jonathan Quick is a killer name.
THEIR LAST GAMES
:: Detroit thoroughly dismantled the Devils, 4-1, on Saturday night.
:: Los Angeles lost to Minnesota in overtime, 3-2, also on Saturday night.
EXPECTED LINEUP
By special request, the TPL Glossary is ready to jailsex your eyes:
Zetterberg — Datsyuk — Homer
Thunderchief — Flip — Mulo
Buckets — Gator — Scuttles
Miller — Helm — Eaves
Lidstrom — Stuart
Rafalski — Ericsson
Kronwall — Ruslan “One Horse Open” Salei (h/t @vtucherov)
Tiberius
Osgood
Scratches
Jakub “Like a Work Placement?” Kindl [in Grand Rapids]
Kris “Not Exactly” Draper
Injuries
Mike “I Think I’ll Sit This One Out on This Level, Boys” Modano [wrist]
Honorable Mentions
Todd “I’d Hate to See You Outta Control” Bertuzzi
Todd “Paradox” Bertuzzi
Todd “It’s Not Strictly Speaking… Legal” Bertuzzi
Jiri “You Mustn’t Be Afraid to Dream a Little Bigger, Darling” Hudler
*If there are any that you think I missed, throw them in the comments — the best one will be shared for all to enjoy on the TPL Facebook Page*
THE FIVE HOLE
1. After Chris Osgood earned his 399th career win, Jimmy Howard returns to the net to face the Kings. Along with Patrick Eaves (in for Kris Draper), only slight roster tweaks have been made since the overtime loss to the Kings last weekend.
2. I’m feelin’ curly tonight…
3. Let me plant this idea in your subconscious: Darren Helm scores on a breakaway. Tonight. He saw the robot devil drawing from @stevieroxelle and he’s none too pleased. I bet.
4. Jiri Hudler comes back in… and that will make some people angry. I’m certain it will come up tomorrow, when we’re taping the new TP:60, but I feel like that conversation has jumped the shark, and everyone’s made up their minds about him at this point. No matter which side of the fence you’re on, we can all agree that he needs to do something, like three weeks ago, to get going. It’s getting old, Scuttles.
5. Seriously. Watch Inception.
WHAT WE LEARNED AGAINST THE DEVILS
We, too, can score goals in the opening minute.
KING WE COVET (JJ Special)
Anyone that answers “Ryan Smyth” is an asshole. And I know everyone would love to lean toward Jack Johnson because of his Ann Arbor ties, but I feel like he’s a penis. I’m going to go off the board and pick Wayne Simmonds.
WUT?
1. Jack Johnson is a penis. Guy plays up an down dependent on what suits him at the moment, not the team’s needs or the game situation.
2. Ryan Smyth is a huge asshole. Dan Ellis ate a ton of shit for whining about being rich, but no one bothers to bring up Smyth crying his way out of Edmonton and into a huge contract. Can hockey players start being men again?
3. I like Simmonds but wouldn’t want him on my team. He’s a bit too loose cannon for me. He feels like he’s an internship at Vogue away from being Sean Avery.
4. Congrats on the huge success of Operation Curly Fries. 68% of Wings fans would be suffering through soggy beef without you guys.
5. Watch Inception. (No I won’t answer questions about the plot at any point)
Only thing I got out of that is I think Dan Ellis is awesome and Inception was great.
Jiri “Give him the kick!” Hudler
Pavel “Never recreate places from your memory. Always imagine new places!” Datsyuk
Todd “Don’t you want to take a leap of faith? Or become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone! ” Bertuzzi
Jonathan “You mind telling your subconscious to take it easy?” Ericsson
How about Niklas “BRAAAAAHM!” Kronwall? That may be cheating, since you can make the case for the same name for a few of the other guys.
Tomas “I’m just trying to understand” Holmstrom
Todd “That price on my head, was that dead or alive?” Bertuzzi
Brad “You should walk away from this” Stuart
All the Kings fans I know, several of which I play in an adult league with, stay Quick is already out of consideration as a Kings goalie. They’re using him as a stop-gap waiting for their goalie of the future to finish cooking.
I assume they’re talking about Jonathan Bernier. My extensive research shows that he is, in fact, the real deal. But Jonathan Quick is no slouch — he’s gotten the Kings a TON of wins the last two seasons.
After that game this has become the single funniest thing I have ever read.
Jiri “Quick, give me a kiss” Hudler
Todd “Why is it so important to dream? ” Bertuzzi
Darren “And I will lead them on a merry chase.” Helm
Niklas “I don’t like trains.” Kronwall
Brad “Bad with emotions” Stuart
I almost forgot
Thomas “We’d be together forever. You promised me.” Kopecky
Marian “I know. But we can’t. And I’m sorry.” Hossa
I almost forgot
Thomas “We’d be together forever. You promised me.” Kopecky
Marian “I know. But we can’t. And I’m sorry.” Hossa
Oh my God, brilliant.
There are going to be SEVERAL winners today…
Oh no, I hope Darren Helm isn’t mad at me! Although if it gets him to score a shorthanded goal then it’ll be worth it.
Thank you for the glossary. Can you make a tab for it somewhere on the page…please.
Oh, and my submission for names:
Todd “What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm?…..” Bertuzzi
Todd
Well, I’m glad you asked, mom.
If you check out the “Pages” menu at the top of the page, just under Olympia’s sign, you’ll find TPL Glossary among the drop-down options. It’ll live there and be updated as needed!