WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
Wings and Blues. 7:30pm. Wednesday.
WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?
Detroit has won three games in a row, 6 of their last 7, and 9 of their last 11. St. Louis is a bit of a losing streak, dropping four in a row (allowing 22 goals in the process), but their 21 points are just a pair behind the Central-leading Red Wings.
NOW WHERE WERE WE?
The last match-up between these two squads was the final game before H2H last season. The Wings were 4-2 winners on goals from Zetterberg, Bertuzzi, and a pair from Flapjack.
OH, HI AGAIN
Former Red Wings goaltender Ty Conklin now mans the crease for the Notes when Jaroslav Halak shits the bed. Conklin’s most recent appearance was in the 5-3 loss to the Coyotes on Saturday.
Current Red Wings goaltender Chris Osgood had a stint in St. Louis, playing 76 games over two seasons. He won 35 of them.
BEST NAME NOMINEE
Newcomer Nicholas Drazenovic is the clear winner in this category this time around. And he’s just from British Columbia — not, like, Uzbekistan. Drazenovic was sent packing yesterday, so I’ll have to check the TPLBNN By-Laws to see if he’s eligible. Runner-up is Nikita Nikitin. A Vice Best Name Nominee, if you will.
THEIR LAST GAMES
:: The Wings dropped Colorado 3-1 on Saturday. Detroit beating the Avalanche? Just like HISTORY.
:: The Blues lost to the very same Avs, 6-3 on Monday. St. Louis maintaining their eternal mediocrity? Just like HISTORY.
Homer — Datsyuk — Middle Reliever [SEE BELOW FOR NEW CASEY AWESOMESAUCE]
Scuttles — Flip — Mulo
Thunderchief — Modano — Cleary
Abdelkader — Danger — Miller
Lidstrom — Stuart
Shitbox — Rafalski
Potter — Cirque
Patrick “Gimme Milk. Chocolate.” Eaves
Jakub “Take That, You Mutated Son of a Bitch!” Kindl
Kris “What Do Kids Do in the 50’s?” Draper [groin]
Chris “Is There a Problem With Earth’s Gravitational Pull?” Osgood [groin]
Todd “HELLO! Anybody Home?!” Bertuzzi
Todd “You’re Going to See Some Serious Shit” Bertuzzi
Todd “We All Make Mistakes in Life, Children” Bertuzzi
Jonathan “I’m Your Density. I Mean Destiny” Ericsson
Darren “Let’s See if You Bastards Can Do 90” Helm
Darren “Flux Capacitor…Fluxxing” Helm
Jiri “He’s a Very Strange Young Man” Hudler
Andreas “I’ve Never Seen Purple Underwear Before” Lilja
Ville “Make Like a Tree and Get Outta Here” Leino
THE FIVE HOLE
1. Halak and the Blues might be on a bit of a losing streak, but that’s still a good hockey club, and it’ll be a good opportunity to measure the Wings against another division contender. I’m sure they’ll be angry and hope to get back on the winning path, with a big victory against the almighty Red Wings. Stay tuned for a barn burner.
2. Can the third line keep up the pace? As we said — nay, admitted — on the most recent episode of TP:60, Todd Bertuzzi looks awesome and Dan Cleary is the hottest man in the NHL right now.
3. At the same time, we’re hoping for a little more action from the top line guys. Pavel Datsyuk has cooled off just a little bit in the scoring department, but continues to make great plays. There’s very little concern about those guys getting their points, but they’ll be expected to produce chances in a game against a decent club with a good goaltender. I’ve got my Curly Fries shirt on today… just sayin’…
4. Is today the day that Shitbox does something to remind us why he’s the Shitbox? Because he’s looked good, too…
5. Jiri Hudler is the wild card for the night. He could either be riding the confidence wave, and continue to look good — or he feels like he’s contributed enough to stay out of the doghouse for a few days and takes the night off. With a player like him, it’s hard to predict, and I’m certainly hoping for the former.
WHAT WE LEARNED AGAINST THE AVALANCHE
Scuttles likes to bite — and shoot pucks off of — backs.
Thanks. The DVD is now being played. I’m sensing a lot less work is going to get done since I’m going to watch the entire trilogy today.
However, I would have liked to have seen Pavel “Great Scott!” Datsyuk. But that’s just me.
Honestly, I could probably do each player several times for movies like Back to the Future… sadly, time doesn’t permit me to always watch the flicks, but I promise I’ll be back to more thorough research soon!
Hell, you could probably do a pre-game for each individual movie, not just the entire trilogy. And if you went for every player, I’m pretty sure the game would be over by the time you finished the post.
That’s an awesome picture. Who is it actually, Zoom?
Per Casey Richey, the artist: it’s Ryan Perry.
Yeah now that I look at it, it does look more like Perry’s tats than Zooms
Humbly submitting Kyle “Why are things so heavy in the future?” Wellwood.
Also, “Uncle Jailbird” Joey MacDonald
Todd “Well, I figured, What the Hell?” Bertuzzi
And now I’m done.
Ville “Next Saturday night, we’re sending you back to the future/Philadelphia” Leino
Jiri “Unfortunately, you never know when or where it’s ever gonna strike” Hudler
Patrick “What happens to us in the future? Do we become assholes or something?” Kane
Mike “Lorraine, my density has bought me to you” Modano
Valtteri “if you’re gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?” Filppula
Todd “Jesus, George, it was a wonder I was even born” Bertuzzi
Mike “Let’s see if you bastards can do 90” Modano.
If any win deserved Epic Win Candy, this one of them. In the spirit of Mike Modano assists, i suggest mrs. Modano aka Willa Ford
Todd Bertuzzi names are classic. You win again sir.
Courtesy of the little brother…
Jason “You’re my… You’re my… You’re my… Who are you?” Williams