Wow, Lilja’s agent kinda sounds like a wanker

“I’ll be damned… long pants.”

Would you trust someone named Todd Diamond?

The answer is no, of course you wouldn’t because you’re not a cartoon character living in the 40’s. And you’d have several reasons to be skeptical of his every word – not that you’d hear most of his words while trying to follow the red card on 37th Street.

I’m not at all a fan of copying chunks of articles and interjecting my own thoughts in between, but there’s some magic to be made, so sit tight for a minute. Late Tuesday, Ansar Khan reports that it’s unlikely Andreas Lilja will be re-signed by the Red Wings. Not really Earth-shattering news, since we all half-expected it. It’s the details that contain a bevy of gems, unearthed under the Sea of Reject:

“Detroit hasn’t made any effort to sign him or talk to us,” Diamond said. “If they want to go in another direction, it’s their prerogative. There are plenty of other teams.”

Strong words. I was surprised to read such a thing — that’s a Maple Leafs thing to do, not a Red Wings thing to do. Oh, but wait a second.

“I made them an offer a month ago, and haven’t heard back from them.”

Kenny Holland says “say what, Diamond, you lying slut?” Diamond then launches into what we like to call a compliment sandwhich:

“He enjoyed his time (in Detroit),” Diamond said. “It was a great situation. He had plenty of friends on the team. The organization treated him well, especially when he had the concussion. They gave him all the time he needed. It’s a first-class organization. That’s why it doesn’t bother me they didn’t call.”

Boom. Nice thing to say…nice thing to say…nice thing to say…nice thing to say…nice thing to say… TOTAL FRAKKING, JAILSEXING LIE. Call me cynical, but I tend to believe Mr. Holland in this, as opposed to some Darryl. The madness continues:

“He’s looking for more than eight minutes a game,” Diamond said. “He knows his role. He doesn’t pretend to be anything he isn’t. He’d prefer to play 12 to 15 minutes a night.”

This line is followed immediately by…

Lilja averaged 14:08 in 20 games this past season. 

Nothing but net. So congratulations, Todd Diamond, you seem like someone I’d like very much to kick in the shins. And presumably you’re related to Screech, which is an automatic disqualification from life. I’ve grown to like Andreas Lilja, but if these are the characters he’s surrounding himself with, I wish him the best of luck logging 12 to 15 minutes in Atlanta, where he’ll back into the obscurity he enjoyed with Los Angeles and Florida.

20 thoughts on “Wow, Lilja’s agent kinda sounds like a wanker”

  1. I wouldn't be surprised to see Stevie pick him up if we don't keep him. Lils could play a big role in Tampa Bay, just the kind of thing he wants.

  2. I wouldn't be surprised to see Stevie pick him up if we don't keep him. Lils could play a big role in Tampa Bay, just the kind of thing he wants.

  3. I thought exactly the same thing as I was reading it. Lills, way to align yourself with such a passive-agressive bullshitter. And, are we REALLY supposed to take TODD DIAMOND seriously??? It's like he's standing there smooth talking you in a suit while he's standing under a gigantic neon sign that's flashing "DOUCHEBAG!" over and over again. Ugh. what. ever.

  4. I thought exactly the same thing as I was reading it. Lills, way to align yourself with such a passive-agressive bullshitter. And, are we REALLY supposed to take TODD DIAMOND seriously??? It's like he's standing there smooth talking you in a suit while he's standing under a gigantic neon sign that's flashing "DOUCHEBAG!" over and over again. Ugh. what. ever.

  5. If Lilja doesn't come back, I want him staying in the west where Zetterberg can walk around him for a goal and then ask how life with that dickbag agent is treating him before dropping a line about going home and screwing his hot model wife.I grew to like Lilja a lot, but I think that like is wholly contingent on him wearing the Winged Wheel. I've liked plenty of former Red Wings as they've moved on to other teams, but Lilja's going to be this year's Kopecky if he walks.

  6. If Lilja doesn't come back, I want him staying in the west where Zetterberg can walk around him for a goal and then ask how life with that dickbag agent is treating him before dropping a line about going home and screwing his hot model wife.

    I grew to like Lilja a lot, but I think that like is wholly contingent on him wearing the Winged Wheel. I've liked plenty of former Red Wings as they've moved on to other teams, but Lilja's going to be this year's Kopecky if he walks.

  7. "but Lilja's going to be this year's Kopecky if he walks"

    Ledba's going to be sad to hear that…

  8. I'm so happy to see Lebda goes, there's almost no way I can feel ill will towards him, even if he succeeds.Besides, I don't speak Russian, so it's less likely to be a problem.

  9. I'm so happy to see Lebda goes, there's almost no way I can feel ill will towards him, even if he succeeds.

    Besides, I don't speak Russian, so it's less likely to be a problem.

  10. If an agent is too "nice" he probably does a shitty job. The only difference is if he keeps his jackassery quiet or not.They're all the same. I don't hold his agent against him.

  11. If an agent is too "nice" he probably does a shitty job. The only difference is if he keeps his jackassery quiet or not.

    They're all the same. I don't hold his agent against him.

  12. "I'm so happy to see Lebda goes there's almost no way I can feel ill will towards him, even if he succeeds."Were you that pissed over Kopecky not re-signing?

  13. "I'm so happy to see Lebda goes there's almost no way I can feel ill will towards him, even if he succeeds."

    Were you that pissed over Kopecky not re-signing?

  14. J.J. from Kansas

    Not pissed, but I felt that Kopecky still had potential when he left.I really have no idea why I'm so spiteful towards Kopecky in Chicago. I don't think Lebda will be that much of an issue but I could be wrong.That's a lot of work to explain a throwaway statement…

  15. J.J. from Kansas

    Not pissed, but I felt that Kopecky still had potential when he left.

    I really have no idea why I'm so spiteful towards Kopecky in Chicago. I don't think Lebda will be that much of an issue but I could be wrong.

    That's a lot of work to explain a throwaway statement…

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