Dec. 30 :: Wipe Them Out, All of Them

WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
First of six matchups against those clowns from Chicago this year. First “episode” of Star Wars pregame themes. We’re hoping that starting with Episode 1 (the shittiest one) doesn’t translate to a shitty performance on the ice tonight for the Wings.

Red Wings and Hawks, 8:30 PM Eastern. FSD has you covered.

WHERE WERE WE?
:: Detroit rallied from a 2-0 deficit to beat the Blues on Tuesday, 3-2.
:: The Hawks got blanked at home on Wednesday by the Kings, 2-0. You may remember this as the game where Drew Doughty got a little “fresh” with Jarret Stoll.
:: As we mentioned, this is the first of six matchups between the biggest rivals in the Central Division. The Hawks took the season series 4-2 last year, but it was the Wings who had the last laugh, beating the Hawks 4-3 in Chicago on the final day of the season last year. Tomas Holmstrom, Pavel Datsyuk (sans glove), Drew Miller and Danny Cleary tallied for the Wings, while Jimmah outlasted Corey Crawford for the win.

BEST NAME NOMINEE
They all suck, so go with the name that sounds the most like a STD: Sami Lepisto.

‘MEMBA ME?
Marian Hossa. Yes, we all remember him.

OH, HI AGAIN
Dan Cleary had a cup of coffee with the Hawks back in the late 90’s.

THE LINEUP
Johan Franzen :: Dangles Datsyuk :: Todd Bertuzzi
Val Filppula :: Hank Zetterberg :: Scuttles Hudler
Danny Cleary :: Justin Abdelkader :: Goose Nyquist
Salt n’ Peppa Miller :: Cory Emmerton :: Joakim Andersson

Nicklas Lidstrom :: Ian White
Brad Stuart :: Niklas Kronwall
Mike Commodore :: Riggy Shitbox

Tiberius Howard
Ty Conkblock

SCRATCHES
Eaves [face]
Holmstrom [groin]
Helm [groin]
Conner [hand]
Mursak [conditioning in GR]
Kindl

The TPL Name Game “Three Stars”
Just like last season, submit your nickname suggestions (follow the theme!), and we’ll use our Facebook page to allow people to vote for the best… the winner gets a free TPL t-shirt!
PETRELLA: Brett “You Were Banished Because You Were Clumsy?” Lebda
STEVIE: Jonathan “Why Do I Get the Feeling We Picked Up Another Pathetic Life Form?” Ericsson
HOLLIS: Nicklas “It Is Possible He Was Conceived By the Mid-Chlorians” Lidstrom
DISCH: Back in 2012

5 HOLE
:: In case you didn’t already get the picture, it’s the first of six meetings between the Wings and Hawks this year. Everybody and their mother has pointed out the fact that it’s taken longer than usual to get to the first matchup, but I like it. Both teams have had a few months to gel and work out the kinks, so we should get a good idea of how well both squads stack up against each other in a tightly contested Central Division.
:: Speaking of the Central Division, don’t forget that these two teams could be on top of the heap competing for the very last Central Division regular season title by the time April rolls around. A lot could happen between now and then, but two points for the Wings tonight would bring them within a point of the division lead, with a game still in hand on Chicago.
:: With Homer and Helm both on the shelf nursing injured groins, Joakim Andersson is back in the lineup for his second consecutive game and will be joined by our good pal Goose Nyquist. Should be a good test for the young kids in an atmosphere that is unforgiving and downright tough to play in.
:: “The Carbomb” Dan Carcillo is back in the lineup tonight for Chicago. Expect the forecheck to be relentless and the hitting in droves, especially when he’s on the ice.
:: The Wings insist that they are “ready” for Chicago and the United Center tonight, but does that mean they are “prepared”? The Wings said the same thing about the Vancouver matchup earlier this month, yet their play didn’t show it. It’s a frustrating trend for these Wings, always promising that they are ready to take a crucial regular season matchup seriously, and then coming out looking like they just ate three plates of leftover Christmas ham. Fingers crossed for some urgency early, otherwise this thing could get ugly in a hurry.
:: BONUS! DRINKING GAME! Take a drink every time the crowd chants “Detroit Sucks.” Take another drink every time Jonny Rigbox touches the puck. You’ll need it.

Editor’s Note: Postgame may or may not happen tonight as I have plans immediately following the game. We thank you for your understanding, and should the result require loss candy, I’ll be sure to get something extra special up this weekend. Hopefully, it won’t and we can all go get drunk and enjoy a win tonight. Go Wings.