As I’m sure you’re familiar, we’re no strangers to raising funds for children in need –and the Red Wings community has proven time and time again that they’re generous beyond words — even though a great deal of us don’t live within Hockeytown’s borders anymore.
Our good buddy @captnorris5 is helping a friend help some kids in Chicago who could desperately use your generosity. As you may have noticed yesterday at The Winged Wheel, he’s putting aside the juvenile Chicago hatred (JUST THIS ONCE!) and he’s giving away a signed Zetterberg jersey to prove it:
Hockeytown, you’ve got a hell of a track record when it comes to charity. In the last two years, you’ve raised just a bit over $14,000 for the Children’s Hospital in two epic events. You’ve answered the bell when it’s been rung, and despite what Mr. Lambert may think, you’ve proven yourselves the most generous fanbase in sports. You’re also all very attractive, and your genitals are significantly above average in both length and girth.
So what am I asking? Simple. Keep it up.
Here and at the bottom of this post is a link to the Learning Through Giving Cause from causes.com. Go there. At the absolute very least, join the cause and post it to your Twitters and Facebooks, Google Plusses and LinkedIns and Yelps, Tumblrs, Diggs, Reddits, and AOL “Fans of Wilford Brimley” Message Boards. You crazy kids and your internets.
But, if you can, do a bit more than that. Toss a donation their way. The money will be put to great use helping kids get their learning on in an environment where they won’t have to worry about toilet paper rationing. Don’t hold it against them that they’re from Chicago. Look, if I can put that aside – you sure as hell can.
Hockeytown, I am absurdly confident that you are more than capable of rising to this challenge. Mike’s got a goal of $10,000 by the time the Wings have brought home the 2012 Stanley Cup. It’s going to require everyone to pitch it to get there, so please, give whatever you can spare.
Head over to TWW for more details, and information — as well as photos and raffle details for the Zetterberg jersey. I’m told that your genitals will continue to grow in length and girth simply by clicking the links. Magic, that’s how.
And, just to be clear, I love Chicago. I called the Windy City home for five years and would move back in a heartbeat if it was in the realm of possibility. I do, however, always get a chuckle out of poking their fanbases, and have no intention of ending that. Duh.