Wings Fans: Losers, Hippies, Supporters of Terrorism

First of all, a hearty welcome to all of the FBI and CIA agents who just stumbled onto this post after our headline triggered those pesky anti-terrorist red flags. Drop us a line in the comments!

And now, please sit back and bask in the enlightenment that you so desire on this Monday.

It’s no secret that the Red Wings travel well. Detroit fans are a passionate bunch, and that extends outside the confines of Joe Louis Arena, as well as the state of Michigan. With a large contingent of Michiganders opting to take their talents to warmer climates during the winter – climates that aren’t traditional hockey markets – it’s no surprise to see Wings fans out in full force at road games. This past week when the Wings took their jaunt through Florida, both Lightning and Panthers fans got a bit of a shock as they watched their seats fill with Wings jersey, listened to chants for the “other” team and glared as octopi rained down on their ice surface. Adding insult to injury in Tampa was an overzealous employee of the Lightning organization hitting the ice to scoop up one of the aforementioned octopi, only to skate off twirling it above his head a la Al Sobotka.

Apparently, that was too much for one Lightning fan, who took to the comments section of the Tampa Tribune and shared his true feelings about Red Wings fans. Proper spelling was optional:

I think the 4000 or so folks who call Tampa Bay home but still rooted for the Red Wings are total losers (right there with Yankee, Red Sox and Philly fans).

I think it is totally pathetic that folks who left those loser cities to live in our Paradise, pay taxes, send their kids to our schools, and call Tampa home, still root for nothing more than a Jersey and a memmory! Pathetic…absolutely Pathetic losers!

If you love those places so daggum much, get in your VW Van and head back nnorth.

They probably root for Al Qeada too…

I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you over the noise of my AK-47 pumping rounds into a nest of Bald Eagles. Let me set down my bong and turn off my Hendrix and properly address you, dooooooooood.

If I had to venture a guess, I’m sure that user “USASoccer” probably couldn’t name any player on the Lightning roster other than Vincent Lecavalier, Marty St. Louis or Steven Stamkos. That said, he may be an incredibly intelligent Bolts fan who truly believes that a passionate group of hockey supporters are a bunch of terrorist hippies. The “Right” runs strong in Florida (my Mom lives in Tampa) and I’ve met a number of folks down there who still think it’s wrong that an African American is our President and that slavery was probably a good idea. Ignorance: They has it. Tact: What the hell is that?

Am I really chapped by this comment? Absolutely not. I find it funny that a threat as innocuous as an arena takeover leads to a tangential connection to a terrorist organization, but this is also coming from an individual  that probably wouldn’t be caught dead in a restaurant if it served “French” fries. Meanwhile, the complaints about living in their “paradise” and paying their taxes are pretty spectacular considering the amount of money that brings the region. Those fancy roads? Payed for by tolls and taxes from Floridians and non-Floridians alike. To hell with that though, right USASoccer? Here’s the knife my friend: Go ahead and cut off your nose to spite your face.

Look, I have plenty of friends and family in the Tampa area, and even the later comments in that Trib piece show truckloads of sense and better judgment about what transpired in Florida last week. A lot of the Lightning fans I know and have openly wished that they could re-channel the excitement of the Bolts’ Cup run a few years ago back into the city. I’m sure they will at some point, especially with Steve Yzerman at the helm. In the meantime, let’s all just sit back and enjoy the show that the “true” residents of Florida put on for us.

If you’ll excuse me, I have propaganda leaflets to print now…

Photos Courtesy of msnbc and Yahoo!