Feb. 18 :: Carpe Dentum. Seize the Teeth.

  

Hot Flashes: Val Filppula will do that to a woman...or man.

Isn’t this posh?  I’ll bet it’s very exclusive, probably need a bunch of pledges just to get in the pool.
Game 4 of our twelve-game pledge drive, and we are approaching the point where we might just have to get a couple of briefcases full of cash to throw at these kids all Hollywood style. Hell, they may wind up with a pool at this rate…     

While the kids are preparing to count their cash, things over here at TPL are a bit hectic. No, not just here on the blog, but it real life as well (Yes, we have real lives.) Petrella’s been grinding away on all of your pledges, Disch has been Horescopping all over Austin, and I’m in the middle of trying to get packed up and moved into a new place by March 1st. Like I said: busy. So what does it all mean?     

Nothing too drastic, really. But as you’ll notice in today’s pregame, we are “streamlining” things a bit for the rest of the regular season and are planning on a revamp of the entire pregame series come playoff time; a “cleanup” of sorts around here (hence the Mrs. Doubtfire theme. Get it? GET IT?!?!)  Of course, all of your suggestions are greatly appreciated and will be thoroughly discussed and dissected at the annual TPL Board of Governors meeting in the coming weeks (I’m not kidding), so let us know if you have some sweet idea on how we can make the pregame even better, while allowing us time to actually, you know, hang out with the family and seduce strange womenz.     

In the meantime, put on those thinking caps and head to the comments section to share your favorite names. Best one goes on the Facebook page, and is also entered into a drawing for a TPL shirt of choiceat the end of the regular season. So give us your best and check out the Facebook page at 7:00 PM Eastern for today’s winner.     

WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
Wings. Catz. 7:30pm. Suburbs of Miami.       

NOW WHERE WERE WE?
The last time the Wings and Panthers met up – November 20, 2009– the good guys came out on the wrong end of a 2-1 final in overtime. Scott Clemmensen out-dueled Chris Osgood (SURPRISE!) at the Joe, and the Wings lone goal was off the stick of Pavel Datsyuk. The last time these two met in Florida – November 14, 2008 – the Wings came away with a 3-2 win.         

BEST NAME NOMINEE
Plenty of good choices here, as the Panthers sound like a team built by the Russian mob. Dmitry Kulikov. Radek Dvorak. Evgeny Dadonov. All good choices, but the czar of this class is most definitely Rostislav Olesz.      

THEIR LAST GAMES
:: Detroit was all business in a 6-2 drubbing of the Yzerbolts last night.
:: Florida fell to the Eastern leading Philadelphia Flyers on Wednesday, 4-2.     

EXPECTED LINEUP
By special request, the TPL Glossary is ready to jailsex your eyes.
Mulo — Zetterberg — Thunderchief
Scuttles — Datsyuk — Cleary
Draper — Helm — Eaves
Miller — Abdelkader — Holmstrom     

Lidstrom — Stuart
Rafalski — Ericsson
Cirque — Kronwall     

McGillicutty
Howard     

Holy Shit, There’s a Scratch?!
Jakub Kindl     

Injuries
Mike Modano [wrist/March]
Chris Osgood [groin/March]
Valtteri Filppula [knee/week-to-week]     

The TPL Name Game “Three Stars”
Disch: 
Jonathan “It Was A Drive-By FRUITING” Ericsson
Petrella: Jiri “Sink the Sub, Hide the Weasel, Park the Porpoise. A Bit of the Old Humpty Dumpty, Little Jack Horny, the Horizontal Mambo. The Bone Dancer, Rumpleforeskin, Baloney Bop, a Bit of the Old Cunning Linguistics” Hudler
Hollis: Larry “Sorry I’m Late. After All Those Scotches I Had to Piss Like a Racehorse” Murphy
*Now it’s up to you! Think up your best names and throw them in the comments — the best one will be shared for all to enjoy on the TPL Facebook Page*     

TIDBITS
:: Rusty Sleigh returns to the lineup tonight after spending some personal time in California in preparation of welcoming the newest member of the Cirque to the family.
:: How about this for a present? Following his Tuesday return to Grand Rapids, the Red Wings inked Jan Mursak to a two-year deal to keep him in the organization. Good for both the kid and the Wings, as Mursak showed a good bit of potential during his call-up.
:: The Wings have gotten points in their last 16 meetings with the Panthers and are 9-0-5-2 since Dec. 1, 1996. Which means, of course, that I just jinxed them. Regulation loss, AHOY!
:: It should be another “home” game for the Wings tonight. The St. Pete Times Forum was overwhelmingly red and white last night, and with the Panthers practically giving tickets away, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to see plenty of Wings support in the seats tonight. Somebody should have just packed Bud Lynch and let him do the in arena announcing.
:: PREDICTION: Wings struggle early and Panthers take advantage, but the good guys hold on for a 4-2 win.
      

WHAT WE LEARNED AGAINST THE LIGHTNING
Suck it, Eastern Conference (again.)

9 thoughts on “Feb. 18 :: Carpe Dentum. Seize the Teeth.”

  1. Todd “Touch me again, and I’ll drown you, you bastard” Bertuzzi
    Evgeni “I must look like a yeti in this getup” Malkin
    Sidney “Are you wearing ladies’ perfume?” Crosby
    Kris “Things were hairy for awhile, but oh, I’m in great shape now” Draper

  2. Jonathan “You’re huge. You could play fullback for the Niners” Ericsson
    Pavel “Hip-Hop, Be-Bop, Dance-til-you-drop, and Yo-Yo Make a Wicked Cup of Cocoa” Datsyuk
    Jimmy “YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH, MISTER!” Howard
    Darren “Hot jambalaya!” Helm
    Jonathan “I eat wood, dunna-dunna-dunna-dun” Ericsson
    Jiri “I like that Mediterranean look in women. Natural, healthy, just the way God made you” Hudler.

  3. Jonathan “You’re huge. You could play fullback for the Niners” Ericsson
    Pavel “Hip-Hop, Be-Bop, Dance-til-you-drop, and Yo-Yo Make a Wicked Cup of Cocoa” Datsyuk
    Jimmy “YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH, MISTER!” Howard
    Darren “Hot jambalaya!” Helm
    Jonathan “I eat wood, dunna-dunna-dunna-dun” Ericsson
    Jiri “I like that Mediterranean look in women. Natural, healthy, just the way God made you” Hudler.

  4. Jiri “It reeks of taste!” Hudler
    Jiri “She’s got the crabs dear and I don’t mean Dungeness.” Hudler
    Todd “You know I’m feeling fabulous, because I met this beautiful Cuban. Every night is like the Bay of Pigs.” Bertuzzi
    Andreas “Happy to be in America. Don’t ask for a green card.” Lilja
    John “”Pi pi pi pi pi piss off, Lou.” MacLean

  5. Jiri “be careful with her, she’s an old lady” Hudler
    Todd “I do a great impression of a hot dog” Bertuzzi

    Kyle “Wow, you’re big for a lady” Wellwood

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