Feb. 17 :: I’ll make a pact with you…

WITH THE GODS AS OUR WITNESSES, LET US PLEDGE THAT THE WINNER WILL ALLOW THE LOSER ALL THE PROPER FUNERAL RITUALS.
Game 3 of our twelve-game pledge drive, and we’re happy to say we’ve already crossed the threshold raised a year ago.

But we have something special for tonight’s game. One of our very best friends, Mike “@mserven” Serven has very generously thought up a unique pledge. Long story short, if you pledge a dollar amount for if they show Steve Yzerman during the Red Wings/Lightning game (which, obviously, will happen) — he’ll match up (for up to a total of $300). It’s already created a firestorm on Twitter, and you should throw your hat in the ring, too. Should be an easy $600 for the children.

If you’re interested in tossing $5, $10, or $19 at this pledge (which will be matched), @ reply either @mserven or @TPLhockey… or leave a comment on this thread.

WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
The Red Wings visit Florida for a back-to-back set. First up, the Lightning on Thursday, 7:30pm

WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?
Even though he claims it isn’t about him, this is the first game between Steve Yzerman’s longtime home team and his new one. Any other night of the year, Red Wings fans are pulling for a Lightning victory, simply because The Captain is at the helm. Tonight, however, we’re Red Wings fans all the way — but a tip of the hat goes to the home team’s general manager.

NOW WHERE WERE WE?
Unsurprisingly, it’s been over a year since the Wings played the Lightning. The last game was December 17th, 2009 — a 3-0 shutout victory for Jimmy Howard. The Wings were without Lilja, Franzen, Filppula, Williams, Kronwall, Cleary, Helm, Ericsson — and lost Henrik Zetterberg to injury during the game (thanks, Mattias Ohlund!). Goals were scored by Todd Bertuzzi, Patrick Eaves, and Drew Miller — who Supa’man’d that hoe.

OH, HI AGAIN
Mattias Ritola was claimed off of waivers by the Lightning early this season, but he’s not on the current NHL roster — instead toiling away in their farm system, as opposed to ours. Well played, Yzerman. Well played.

MEMBA ME?!
Drew Miller was waived by Tampa last season, where he was promptly snatched up by the Wings and turned into an extremely valuable fourth line energy guy. You know who else played in Tampa? Jug Danik.

BEST NAME NOMINEE
Not a lot to choose from here, but Johan Harju seems like an early favorite. Dana Tyrell would have been a runaway if Dana wasn’t a girl’s name.

THEIR LAST GAMES
:: Detroit bitch-smacked the Bruins 4-2 on Sunday.
:: Tampa Bay lost 4-3, in a seven round shootout, to the Flyers on Tuesday.

EXPECTED LINEUP
By special request, the TPL Glossary is ready to jailsex your eyes.
Mulo — Zetterberg — Thunderchief
Scuttles — Datsyuk — Cleary
Draper — Helm — Eaves
Miller — Abdelkader — Holmstrom

Lidstrom — Stuart
Rafalski — Ericsson
Cirque — Kronwall

Tiberius
McGillicutty

Holy Shit, There’s a Scratch?!
Jakub “You’re Younger Than I Ever Was” Kindl

Injuries
Mike “Almost Lost This War Because of Your Little Romance” Modano [wrist/March]
Chris “War is Young Men Dying and Old Men Talking, Ignore the Politics” Osgood [groin/March]
Valtteri “I Have Heard Rumors of Your Beauty and, For Once, the Gossip is Right” Filppula [knee/week-to-week]

Honorable Mentions
Todd “Ill-Advised, But Valiant” Bertuzzi
Todd “Careful, Boy, My Mercy Has Limits” Bertuzzi
Todd “Peace is for Women. And the Weak” Bertuzzi
Jiri “May the Gods Keep the Wolves in the Woods and the Women in our Beds” Hudler
Jonathan “I Want to See Him Grow Tall. I Want to See All the Girls Chasing After Him” Ericsson
Jan “IS THERE NO ONE ELSE?” Mursak
Chris “Are the Greeks Tired of Fighting Each Other?” Chelios
Jason “Go Back To Your Ships and Go Home” Williams
Mikael “Make Him Swing and Miss, He’ll Tire” Samuelsson
*If there are any that you think I missed, throw them in the comments — the best one will be shared for all to enjoy on the TPL Facebook Page*

TIDBITS
:: Brad Stuart returns to the lineup after missing fifteen games with a broken jaw.
:: Mike Modano is scheduled to return to the lineup February 26th — a few weeks ahead of early reports. Good on him.
:: Ruslan Salei is scheduled to play in this game unless he’s given a few more personal days to welcome his third child into the world. Once again, congratulations to the family.
:: Former invisible Red Wing and inexplicable power play point man Jason Williams has signed with the Dallas Stars. If I may, “LOL.”
:: Jan Mursak was officially sent back to Grand Rapids on Tuesday, meaning his toe has healed well enough to be in playing shape.
:: This trip to Florida serves as the Red Wings’ annual Fathers Trip — where the players invite their fathers (or other family members) to have the Red Bird Experience. No word on how many of their guests are bringing Shirtuzzis. Take that, Mr. Modano!
:: Just a head’s up, since we’re about ten days away — The Production Line will be your go-to place for Trade Deadline Live Chat, just like last year where much fun was had. Chances of the Wings making a move are resting right around zero, but it’s an exciting day nonetheless.

WHAT WE LEARNED AGAINST THE BRUINS
Suck it, Eastern Conference.