WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
Our Red Wings play the first of back-to-back nights. I will be at both. Yes, even the one in Nashville. More on that later. This half, against the Jackets, begins at 7:30pm on Friday night.
WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?
It’s the weekend. We were supposed to get Datsyuk and/or Holmstrom back. Neither are back for tonight’s game. The lineup is the same.
NOW WHERE WERE WE?
This is the fifth of six matchups with the Norris Division rivals. The Red Wings have gone 3-0-1 against the Blue Jackets so far this season, outscoring the Mighty Ohioans 14-11 in the process. The last game was January 15th, a 6-5 overtime victory at the Joe.
OH, HI AGAIN / MEMBA ME?! / BEST NAME NOMINEE
This is familiar: no one on either team spent time on the other; Rusty Klesla with a killer name.
THEIR LAST GAMES
:: Detroit beat the Ottawa 49ers, a touchdown to a field goal and a safety, on Wednesday.
:: Columbus lost to Chicago on Tuesday by a similar score, 7-4.
By special request, the TPL Glossary is ready to jailsex your eyes.
Mulo — Zetterberg — Thunderchief
Scuttles — Filppula — Cleary
Draper — Helm — Eaves
Miller — Abdelkader — Mursak
Lidstrom — Kronwall
Rafalski — Ericsson
Cirque — Kindl
Mike “I Got Beat Up At a Neil Diamond Concert By a Guy Named Scrunchy” EModano [wrist/March]
Pavel “You People and Your Slight Differences Disgust Me” Datsyuk [hand/this weekend]
Brad “You Shut Up, Sir!” Stuart [jaw/March]
Chris “We Still Have One Preposterously Slim Hope” Osgood [groin/March]
Tomas “Sweet Honey Bee of Infinity” Holmstrom [hand/this weekend]
Todd “I Have Sweaty Booty Rash” Bertuzzi
Todd “I Am Not Evil, My Loan Officer Said So” Bertuzzi
Todd “Perfectly Symmetrical Violence Never Solved Anything” Bertuzzi
Todd “Your Granny Can Go To Hell” Bertuzzi
Jiri “Whatever’s In There, It’s the Only Thing I’ve Ever Wanted” Hudler
Jonathan “Ow! It’s Hot. The Butter in My Pocket Is Melting” Ericsson
Jason “GET A JOB!” Williams
*If there are any that you think I missed, throw them in the comments — the best one will be shared for all to enjoy on the TPL Facebook Page*
THE FIVE HOLE
1. Nine in Nine: Obviously Johan Franzen’s five goal onslaught on the Senators will skew the numbers a bit, but here’s a guy that’s scored nine goals in the last nine games.
2. Howard’s Back In: After a less-than-stellar showing, Jimmy Howard will have the chance to redeem himself. And with back-to-backs this weekend, does Joey Mac get the call tomorrow?
3. Struggling BJs: Columbus is sitting in 14th place, 7 points back of the last playoff spot in the West. Reading the Dreger Report, it would seem that the Jackets are one of a few teams ready to start unloading in preparation of the trade deadline. He cites Steve Mason, Jakub Voracek, and Rostislav Klesla as players that are drawing interest. Perhaps they’ll be on full display tonight, showcasing them for an extra draft pick or something.
4. Modano Ahead of Schedule: With his demeanor certainly changing from the EModano days of yore, Mike Modano seems extremely optimistic that he’ll be back with the team earlier than the initial reports suggested. He’s on Week 9 of a 12-week rehab program, but has been skating.
5. In the Ditch: The Everett Silvertips bus went into a ditch following their win against the Kamloops Blazers. Detroit Red Wings prospect Landon Ferraro is the captain of the Silvertips, though he is likely out for the rest of the season following hernia surgery. No one was injured.
WHAT WE LEARNED AGAINST THE SENATORS
The Johan is strong. The Johan is noble. The Johan knows all. Except defense.
Jiri “Hey do I preach to you when you’re lying stoned in the gutter? NOOOO!” Hudler
“Detroit beat the Ottawa 49ers, a touchdown to a field goal and a safety, on Wednesday.”
More like 69ers.. Frazen scored 5, but I still feel like the Senators jailsexed us in that sloppy seconds sort of performance.
In other news, here’s to hoping we pick up the pace and protect the net more. We’ve not been doing so hot with controlling the puck. I’m sayin 4-3 Detroit at this point.
Johan “Bite my glorious golden ass!” Franzen
Todd “Buddha! Zeus! God! One of you guys help me! Satan, you owe me!” Bertuzzi
Todd “God rest her zombie bones.” Bertuzzi
Jiri “Oh my God. This is just like that drug trip I saw in that movie while I was on that drug trip.” Hudler
you can’t, like, own property, man
Todd “Yes, it’s the Apocalypse alright. I always knew I’d have a hand in it” Bertuzzi
Oh, and for the record, I’ve very sad to have missed the misheard lyric preview. Imagine all the fun you could have with a line like, “Death is the first dancing turtle”! Who’s the anti-Helm on the Red Wings?
Brad “Oh, right. I’ll have a croque monsieur, the paella, two mutton pills, and a stein of mead” Stuart