WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
Wings and Stars. Sunday matinee. 5pm Eastern, at the Joe.
WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?
Chris Osgood will get the chance to earn his 400th career victory on home ice. Here’s hoping the Wings win big, he gets it, and we can (finally) move on from this storyline.
NOW WHERE WERE WE?
This is the second matchup of the season for these two teams. The first was October 14th. It wasn’t pretty. The Loss Candy comments were fun, though. The 4-1 loss was the first regulation loss of the season.
OH, HI AGAIN / MEMBA ME?! / BEST NAME NOMINEE
Being that this is the second game of the season between these two teams, we’ve done this dance before. Mike Modano, who won’t be playing, is a former Star. Karlis Strastins is a runaway in the BNN.
THEIR LAST GAMES
:: Detroit didn’t bother showing up in Chicago for Chris Chelios Night, losing 4-1 to the Hawks on Friday.
:: Dallas defeated Columbus, 2-1, last night.
By special request, the TPL Glossary is ready to jailsex your eyes
Mulo — Datsyuk — Homer
Bucket — Zetterberg — Thunderchief
Abdelkader — Filppula — Eaves
Miller — Helm — Draper
Lidstrom — Stuart
Rafalski — Ericsson
Kronwall — Ruslan “One Horse Open” Salei (h/t @vtucherov)
Jakub “You Can Get a Good Look at a Butcher’s Ass By Sticking Your Head Up There” Kindl [in Grand Rapids]
Jiri “QUIT PLAYIN’ WITH YOUR DINGHY!” Hudler
Mike “I Got Dibs on Top Bunk” Modano [wrist]
Todd “In a VAN Down by the RIVER” Bertuzzi
Todd “I’m Not ‘Camera-Friendly,’ I Don’t ‘Wear Clothes that Fit Me,’ I’m Not a ‘Heartbreaker,’ I Haven’t ‘Had Sex with a Woman,’ I Don’t ‘Know How That Works,’ I Don’t ‘Fall in Line,’ I’m Not ‘Hygenic,’ I Don’t ‘Wipe Properly,’ I Lack ‘Style,’ I Don’t Have ‘Self-Esteem,’ I Have No ‘Charisma,’ I Don’t ‘Own a Toothbrush,’ I Don’t ‘Let My Scabs Heal,’ I Can’t ‘Reach All the Parts of my Body,’ When I Sleep I ‘Sweat Profusely.’ But I Guess the Powers that be will Keep Signing by Paycheck Until Jack and Jane K. Viewer Start to go for the Remote So They Can Get Back to Commentators Who Don’t ‘Frighten Children,’ Who Don’t ‘Eat Their Own Dandruff,’ Who Don’t ‘Pop Their Whiteheads With a Compass They Used in High School'” Bertuzzi
Jiri “Get This: A Corn-Fed Harvest Mouse, a Hooker, a Nun, a Flemish Peasant Woman, Whips, Chains, Whistles, Yo-Yo’s, a Circus Midget, My Grandmother Riding by on a Bicycle Giving Me the Finger, and a Duck!” Hudler
Niklas “Young Man, I’m Going Twist Off Your Head and Spike it Onto the Floors of a Nightmare You Can’t Even Imagine” Kronwall
Brett “A Guaranteed Piece of Shit” Lebda
Kyle “Fat Guy Little Coat” Wellwood
*If there are any that you think I missed, throw them in the comments — the best one will be shared for all to enjoy on the TPL Facebook Page*
THE FIVE HOLE
1. Friday was a classic Wings off-night, where they didn’t really show a lot of effort, and lost the game in the opening minutes. The good news is that they rarely play like that two nights in a row, so here’s hoping for more gusto from the jump.
2. Likewise, the team will want to play hard for Chris Osgood, who is on the verge of accomplishing something only nine other goaltenders have ever accomplished. It’s no secret that I’m not a big Osgood fan, but he seems like a hell of a guy, a great teammate, and he’s earned the right to at least be discussed about Hall of Fame numbers. Whichever side of that debate you stand on, tonight should be his night.
3. Something I brought up on Twitter Friday: Patrick Eaves appears to have been removed from the healthy scratch rotation which now includes Kris Draper, Drew Miller, and Jiri Hudler. Of course that could change, but since Eaves’ last scratch (December 4th), the healthy players in the press box have gone as follows: Draper, Miller, Draper, Hudler, Draper, Miller, Draper. If Eaves has, in fact, played himself into a permanent spot in the lineup, he thanked Mike Babcock by scoring the lone goal on Friday.
4. If you notice the lineup above, Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg have been split in an effort to jumpstart the offense. Will today’s game be one of those “adjustment” games, or will the players respond to the change by showing some effort to right the ship?
5. Also worth noting is that Valtteri Filppula has been dropped to the third line, with Dan Cleary bouncing up a line. The Abdelkader-Flip-Eaves line should be something to watch…
WHAT WE LEARNED AGAINST THE HAWKS
Dumbass fans are rewarded for booing former heroes.
STAR WE COVET (JJ Special)
I’m CERTAIN I’ll get a lot of shit over this, but I love how Brendan Morrow plays. Sure, he’s a dick, but he’s an effective dick.
Jakub “New guy’s in the corner puking his guts out” Kindl
Jiri “Not now damn it” Hudler
Darren “Well, I got a 426 hemi here, 3/4 cams, nitro boosters, I can get ‘er up to as good as 155” Helm
Jiri “That’s the Saigon who bit my nose off” Hudler
Jiri “I’d like you to step away from this vector and get in a different coordinate pronto, there’s no access for you in this quadrant” Hudler
Because I have to: Chris “Tommy likey. Tommy want wing-ey” Hollis
Jiri “Forget it, I quit, I can’t do this anymore, man. My head’s about to explode. My whole life sucks. I don’t know what I’m doing… I don’t know where I’m going. My dad just died. We just killed Bambi. I’m out here getting my ass kicked and every time I drive down the road. I wanna jerk the wheel INTO A GODDAMNED BRIDGE EMBANKMENT.” Hudler
Pavel “I swear I’ve seen a lot of stuff in my life, but that was… awesome.” Datsyuk
Todd “Geez, raving psycho, we arrested him becuase he butchered over 300 chickens and screwed a Begal. I’m taking him back to Navada where he’s wanted for Bangin Horses’.” Bertuzzi
Jonny “Because they know all they sold ya was a guaranteed piece of shit. That’s all it is, isn’t it? Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time.” Ericsson
Niklas “That’s going to leave a mark” Kronwall
Kyle “lay off me, I’m starving” Wellwood.
Brett “You look like a Helen” Lebda
Jonathon “So here’s why I suck as a salesman” Ericsson
Jiri “Jo-Jo the Idiot Circus Boy” Hudler
Jiri “Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a kid?” Hudler