Oct 28 :: Mine’s Ryan Fallow — What’s Yours?

I planned on using an image from the Coyote Ugly Saloon here, but I've been trying to work with them and they're not being cooperative. So... to hell with 'em.

WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
Yotes visit Detroit this time — 7:30pm in the only time zone that matters. Even when I lived in Chicago, the Central Time Zone seemed worthless. Like a baby brother to the times they talk about on TV. But then it became second nature to subtract an hour from any time that was printed — and sometimes it got to the point where you had to remember WHO was giving you this time. If it was a local publication or station, it was the actual time they said… but if it was a national thing, it wasn’t. Very bizarre feeling, knowing for a FACT that you and everyone like you were very much an after-thought. Like, the party is at 9 o’clock, cool kids. The rest of you can figure it out, ya know, if you want… Anyway, 7:30pm East.

WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?
The Wings are semi-hot, holding one of the better records in the NHL at the moment. Jimmy Howard, who is one game away from owning the Red Wings record for most consecutive games played without a regulation loss, went down with back spasms today and will not be available for the game. Joey MacDonald was called up to backup Chris Osgood — and Brian Rafalski was placed on short-term IR to make room, roster-spot wise (and Kris Draper was officially placed on long-term IR, creating cap space).

NOW WHERE WERE WE?
This is the second meeting of the young season for these two — the first being October 16th. The Wings were 2-1 winners in the desert, and there was no BizNasty sighting.

OH, HI AGAIN / MEMBA ME?! / BNN
Ray Whitney. Dan Cleary. Oliver Ekman-Larsson.

THEIR LAST GAMES
:: Detroit outlasted Anaheim, winning 5-4 on Saturday.
:: Phoenix took a curb-stomping in Ottawa, of all places, on Tuesday: 5-2.

EXPECTED LINEUP
Zetterberg — Datsyuk — Homer
Bertuzzi — Flapjack — Mulo
Scuttles — Modano — Suitor #1
Suitor #2 — Danger — Miller

Lidstrom — Stuart
Potter — Janik At the Disco
Amazon — Cirque du Salei

Pinto
Joey Mac

Scratches [nickname idea courtesy of @Wings3_26_97 and made with help from the Porn Star Name Generator]
Justin “Buck Darkholder” Abdelkader

Injuries
Kris “Sir Slapshot” Draper [groin]
Jonathan “Sinn” Ericsson [back]
Brian “Doctor Nekkid, DDS” Rafalski [knee]
James “Javier Spreadum” Howard [back]

Honorable Mentions
Todd “Buster Hump” Bertuzzi
Nicklas “Sir Phukzalot” Lidstrom
Dan “Orel Banger” Cleary
Patrick “Don Quickie” Eaves
Brad “Corporal Sticky” Stuart
Jiri “Lexx Jammer” Hudler
Christopher “Ronn Spankadocious” Osgood
Henrik “Spanky Peachybutt” Zetterberg
Darren “Gunnar Tang” Helm
Niklas “Orel Nutt” Kronwall
Johan “Sir Hardon” Franzen
Tomas “Mister Muffmuncher” Holmstrom
Darren “Ricky Cucumber” McCarty
Kirk “Doctor Rugmuncher” Maltby
Andreas “Dick Pantsmaster, Esquire” Lilja
Jason “Sir Jiggles” Williams

THE FIVE HOLE
1. Microscope firmly placed on Osgood, with news of the late scratch of Jimmy Howard. It’s a Wings World divided on his, and a good outing would go a long way. The team should be well-rested and they’re playing their A-team, for the most part, so Ozzie should have sufficient support in his return to the crease.
2. Ericsson should be ready to return next week-ish, which will mark the end of the Janik Era. Here’s a tissue.
3. The third line was put on notice by Uncle Mike — so expect to see some fireworks from them, in an effort to remain in the lineup. I doubt that Cleary’s in danger of losing a spot, but a lot was expected of Scuttles and Mike Modano is taking some time getting adjusted.
4. The top six look pretty nifty. If they keep up the scoring pace, with occasional contributions from secondary scoring on the lower ranks and strong defense led by a hotshot goaltender… we may have stumbled across a formula for winning hockey games. Novel idea, that.
5. BUY SOME SHIRTS! I gotta see if there’s a way to offer $1 off the Shirtuzzi if he scores…

WHAT WE LEARNED AGAINST THE DUCKS
Sniffle, Teemu has a boo boo. And it’s on his vagina.

21 thoughts on “Oct 28 :: Mine’s Ryan Fallow — What’s Yours?”

  1. Dick Pantsmaster… it’s a nickname so awesome I almost want Lils back on the team. Almost. Also, what are the chances we can get a “Gunnar Tang” line of shirts up and running by early next week?

  2. Eaves sent me an email to forward to you guy is as follows:

    “Can’t you call me the second suitor? Suitor number two sounds like a bathroom code, you know”

    He said first person to name the movie reference gets a cookie.

  3. Also worth noting, I tried 15 different versions of my name (rob, robert, robert james, 512 disch…and 11 others) to get a cool porn name using the generator, but none of them carried any level of awesomeness or dominance. So I hoped over to the mexican wrestling name generator…which will definitely have to make a pre-game appearance at some point…and was bestowed the following: El Dragon en los Pantalones.

    That, my friends, is a handle.

    1. Like Kronwall, the site gave me “Orel Nut,” so for the header, I went with the classic “Middle Name / Street You Grew Up On” formula. Hoping for more readers to drop theirs in…

      1. I thought the porn name game was to use the name of the dog you had while growing up and the street where you lived. If that’s the case, I’m Fluffy Shaftsbury (swear to God, that’s the name of the street I lived on in the D!) Michael, you would be P.J. Fallow.

        1. I think there are two different routes.

          One is Middle Name+Street You Grew Up On. The other is Childhood Pet+Street.

          I liked using both methods and going with PJ Fallow / PJ Mayfair. Ryan Fallow. Ryan Mayfair just sounds like a regular dude. And/or Superhero.

          Also, SHAFTSBURY? Why would Grandma and Poppy do such a thing? HA

    1. Why did I grow up on the rather boringly-named New York street? Insert-name-here New York just doesn’t sound nearly as cool as Tall Tree or Shaftsbury

  4. Not so sure that Ericsson is a step up from Janik on the “ready to play on the Wings’ blueline” scale. I’m just amazed that either of ’em have shifts where they don’t figuratively shit the bed.

  5. So…the porn star name generator disappeared, I found a different one. My name is apparently Spanky Bottoms. Or Jenny Jiggles

  6. Morning, Mr. Petrella. Sorry about last night’s… well… you know. Remember, I live in Dallas, and our team played a slightly different game out West and got their CowBoy Clocks Cleaned. We’re all looking for the BandAid box this morning. Chin Up, Doll. TGIF with a hug…. “KittyJoliet”

    1. Welcome to The Future ma. Excellent work navigating the labrynth of Disqus. Love the new handle. …and no, I’m not concerned at all that my mom used her (pet/street name) porn name as her handle for my hockey blog. Not at all.

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