Oct 16 :: …or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Tuzz


This photo has nothing to do with anything, but I recently learned that NASA images and video are public domain, so... here we go.

WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
The Wings head into the desert to face the Coyotes. No word yet if @mserven, @bizcassty, @bingobangodrw, or @sullyosis will be in attendance. Puck drops at 9 o’clock in the East.

WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?
Game #5, following a straight-up ass-whoopin’. Oh, and we’re minus one Johan. Fantastic. We’ll be playing a man short — what are we, the Devils? — since the team doesn’t have cap space to call someone up. Not quite sure why Rafalski’s not on LTIR yet, but here we are… five players injured, zero healthy scratches, and 19 warm bodies. At least one of them is Doug Janik. Thank Jeebus for that.

NOW WHERE WERE WE?
The Dogs were the first round foes of our beloved Winged Wheelers. Phoenix was dispatched in seven games. If I’m not mistaken, seven was also the number of stupid rubber snakes that hit the ice. All series, I mean. Way to go, Arizona! The final score of the most recent contest was 6-1. Datsyuk and Lidstrom had two each, Bertuzzi and Stuart had the others.

OH, HI AGAIN.
Ray Whitney played 67 games for the Wings — and another 12 in the post-season. Sami Lepisto is Valtteri Filppula’s best friend…so there’s that.

MEMBA ME?!
Only one former Yote on the roster — Dan Cleary.

BEST NAME NOMINEE
Oliver Ekman-Larsson. Hyphens get the win more often than not in this category. Which is odd because I hate hyphenated names everywhere else.

THEIR LAST GAMES
:: The Wings got their as– HEY, I see what you did there. It’s over and it never happened.
:: The Coyotes haven’t played since Sunday (WHAT’S WITH PLAYING TEAMS WITH SUPER HUGE LAYOFFS?!), and they were curb-stomped 3-0 against Boston.

EXPECTED LINEUP
Datsyuk — Zetterberg — Homer
Miller — Filppula — Tuzzi
Scuttles — Modano — Cleary
Helm — Eaves — NO ONE.

Lidstrom — Stuart
Potter — Janik
Amazon — Cirque du Salei (h/t Amer)

Tiberius
Osgood

Injuries [theme courtesy of @FightNightatJoe]
Kris “I Don’t Want No Horsin’ Around” Draper [groin]
Justin “One of Them Doomsday Machines” Abdelkader [ribs]
Jonathan “A Big Plane Like a 52…Varoom!” Ericsson [back]
Brian “Mein Fuhrer! I Can Walk!” Rafalski [knee]
Johan “Don’t Give a Hoot in Hell How You Do It” Franzen [brain]

Honorable Mentions
Todd “This Man is Obviously a Psychotic” Bertuzzi
Jiri “Toe to Toe With the Ruskies” Hudler
Jiri “Some Kind of Deviant Pervert” Hudler
Doug “You Can’t Fight in Here” Janik
Brett “Shoot, A Fella Could Have a Pretty Good Weekend in Vegas With All That Stuff” Lebda

QUICK THOUGHTS
1. If you don’t already (but I’m sure you do), follow @BizNasty2point0 right now.
2. Playing with eleven forwards shouldn’t make a HUGE deal, but I guess we’ll see, eh?
3. Also worth noting is that Dan Cleary was nearly injured in practice (you better cut that shit out — we have enough trouble getting through games, son), so keep your eyes on him to make sure he doesn’t look worse for wear.
4. The top line guys were horrendous on Thursday — so I’m sure they’re all anxious to get back on the + side.
5.  Drew Miller on the 2’s. Let’s see where this goes.

WHAT WE LEARNED AGAINST THE STARS
Apparently — and stop me if you’ve heard this before — Chris Osgood isn’t to blame for anything ever. Also, Brad Stuart wanted no part of helping out.

26 thoughts on “Oct 16 :: …or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Tuzz”

  1. Chris Osgood isn’t to blame for anything ever. Awww, hey now. Chris Osgood was the patient zero for swine flu. Still, he wasn’t to blame for Thursday and I’ll bite the nose off anybody who says different.Anne from Kansas is in attendance tonight, so if the Wings lose, it’s her fault.

  2. I actually will comment on Osgood. Especially since I have a pretty good cold so biting my nose off would be like eating the worlds worst Gushers fruit snack. Hey Ozzie, you want your 400 wins, well you better go out and get them. You make the most of your opportunities regardless of who or how the people in front of you play. Start blowing people’s mindholes with ridiculously awesome saves. It is totally up to you Ozzie to stop the debate as to whether you are done or not. This is not about giving up soft goals, deflections, blown coverages, screens, bad bounces, bad calls, or lackluster goal support. It’s about you stepping the fuck up and taking those wins for yourself. Make those saves that tell the shooter to eat shit and die. This goes for you as well Jimmah. You stole the keys to this sweet ride, but that doesn’t mean that somebody couldn’t do the same to you. If you guys can’t put a streak together people will start saying you hit like a Janik.

    1. I’m doing my very best to keep my shut on the matter this season because I’ve been anything but timid the last few years and clearly we’ve gotten nowhere with the people who think differently than I do. At some point, you’d think we’d all realize that the common denominator is Chris Osgood and we can’t use the “the team didn’t play in front of him” excuse anymore. While I’ll agree that the Dallas game was the worst playing of the defense in recent memory, I have a hard time looking past full seasons worth of uselessness.

      1. I usually don’t pipe up on the Osgood/Wasgood debate. This season though I want to watch some games and say, “They won that game because of Osgood.” Not, “They won that game in spite of Osgood.”

        1. Last Saturday: They won that game because of Osgood.

          I’m actually not a die-hard Osgood supporter. I want him to be our backup and keep his damned mouth shut this season, which he couldn’t do last year. Still, I don’t see why each game has to be black-and-white either Osgood sucked or he didn’t. Osgood did not suck on Thursday. If you want to say the defense played like shit in front of him because Osgood was back there, that’s fine; you and I will simply have to disagree on that point.

          Blame Osgood for every bad game he played last year; blame Osgood for every bad game he plays this year, just don’t blame Osgood when Mike Babcock can’t get his team to skate for ANY of a sixty-minute game. Right now, Jimmy Howard has the worst game played by a Red Wings goaltender this season.

          1. If you want to say the defense played like shit in front of him because Osgood was back there, that’s fine; you and I will simply have to disagree on that point.

            Wow. Never said that.

            I do blame Osgood for every bad game. Just like when I blame Howard for his bad games.

            And yeah, Howard also has the best game played by a Red Wings goalie this season. So what was your point with that?

            For someone who claims to not actually be a die-hard Osgood supporter, you went out of your way to start some shit. I mean, the whole point of my comment was to pull out all of the excuses for ANY goalies’ loss, and say, “Dude get your shit together.” I want him to get his 400, and sometimes because of what happens in front of you, you just might have to step up and steal a couple of games. If Ozzie gets his head screwed on right I think he can do that.

          2. The point about Howard having the worst game in net for a Red Wings goalie was aimed at Petrella’s comment about the common denominator. It’s a convenient excuse, especially when forgetting that every once in a while, Osgood has a good game, one where the team could have lost if he didn’t play well (like in Chicago’s home opener).

            I don’t have a disagreement that Osgood should step the fuck up and win some fucking games, but there’s no goddamn way I’m going to admonish the guy when the guys in front of him play like they did on Thursday. There’s not a single goalie in the league I think would have pulled that game off. So yeah, your platitudes about our backup needing to re-prove himself somehow are right.

          3. I promised myself that after all of this nonsense, I was going to let this die. Because at some point, those of us who see things for how they are in reality become the crazy ones for arguing a point that’s been proven for us time and time again.

            If there are people out there that want to fool themselves into thinking Chris Osgood is still an NHL goaltender, somehow positing that his salary allows him to be below average — great, more power to them. Some of us disagree, and we feel like we’ve gotten enough data to be entitled to that stance.

            As for my “common denominator” remark — I stand by it. I have a hard time stomaching people defending this one player, using the same excuses over and over again, while never holding him accountable for his own play. And I do mean what I said up there — that it was the worst defensive effort in recent memory. No goaltender wins that game for the Red Wings, for sure. But if I’m willing to admit that the Wings don’t win the Chicago game if it weren’t for Osgood — how many of the games he’s lost are you willing to pin on him? The correct answer is more than 1.

            And I don’t mean to throw this at JJ individually. JJ’s points about people piling on Osgood for this particular contest are spot on. He could have been a circus freak in this game, and it wouldn’t have made a four-goal gap any better. Were there goals that he probably wants back? There’d better be. That’s what makes athletes competitors — the need to be perfect. He’s never had that fire, and it’s obviously not fair to ask of him now. Jimmy Howard loses that game. Dominik Hasek loses that game. Manny Legace REALLY loses that game. Greg Stefan cries during that game.

            But, it’s getting really old watching the same thing happen every time he’s in net — regardless of who’s to blame — and seeing the same people perpetuate the same excuses in the same places. That’s all I’m after here.

          4. I’m ok letting it die with this and with no hard feelings because we’re almost in complete agreement here. There are fans out there who consistently fail to hold Osgood accountable no matter how badly he plays. I know I am not one of those fans. If anybody else thinks I am among that small group, then they’re wrong. I don’t have to pull all my old commentary out to prove that I’m not a blind Osgood supporter.

            It’s just frustrating that we’re having this conversation because football writer Rob Otto took the time to look at a scoresheet and use what he saw as a basis for re-hashing the old argument. Osgood should play better. I think he’s still capable of doing that. His relatively low salary doesn’t make below-average play acceptable, but that’s a conversation to have after he plays a below-average game. My original point on Kuklas Korner about how the difference between what the Wings are spending on their goaltending and what the teams with truly elite goaltending are spending is enough to pay Valtteri Filppula and Dan Cleary, who I’d rather have, still stands. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to call out Osgood when he plays average, but costs us points in a game I think he could have won for us (Jimmy Howard’s Tuesday game against the Avalanche is the most recent example, but Osgood has MORE than his fair share of those over the last two seasons.)

            Just like there’s an annoyingly vocal group who would give Chris Osgood a pass for pulling out a shotgun and blasting Nick Lidstrom in the back, there’s an equally large group on the other side who would blame him for not knowing that a lightning bolt was coming to take out Henrik Zetterberg and pushing him out of the way at the last second, saving the future captain.

  3. I’ll be at the game tonight–wearing my Coyotes sweater. I heard Serven is lacing up to play fourth line for free, so that should be entertaining.

    And for the record, I attended all the games at home during the Wings series. They were serious about no snake throwing, and I’ve no idea how the octopi were smuggled in. Jobing.com Arena security was tight and they confiscated lots of rubber snakes. I chickened out and I think my rubber snake is still in my glove box of my car…

    As for Coyotes’ Ekman-Larsson, prepare to be impressed. The kid’s solid. Please don’t hurt him tonight.

  4. *Cirque du Salei (h/t Amer)*

    I tip my hat to you Mr. Petrella.

    Game-wise, I’ve got a good feeling about tonight.

  5. Actually, that NASA image goes well with how my brain felt when I read the title of this post. Learning to love The Tuzz afterall? You guys in couples’ therapy or something? Naw, I know you said you were trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he’s just so much fun to make fun of. Either way, I’m looking for some Tuzzi magic out there. Flippy & Miller have had their moments of playing well together, so who knows. And frankly, the fourth line with those two out there… who really needs a 3rd forward anyway? Wings will be fine so long as the Wings show up & they buy BizNasty a whole bunch of tacos to eat before the game…

    1. The title is just another opportunity to shove a Dr. Strangelove reference into the post — and I can confirm that we are not, in fact, in couples therapy. Although he is playing very well (see what I did there? I admitted that a player — whom I have a very clear opinion of — is doing something to make me change my mind. That’s called being objective. Cough Osgood Cough).

  6. VipersGoneButNotForgotten

    I think we are at the point where we don’t know if Osgood will fail as being a serviceable backup, or if he will rise from the ashes like so many times before and steal the starting job from Howard by playing at an elite level. I don’t think some fans will ever admit that Osgood simply has nothing left in the tank and will rejoice in the beginning of the Howard era.

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