Devastating Loss Candy: Timely Edition

Kind of like this.

In the sixteen or so months since we launched The Production Line, we’ve learned a handful of things: offer the audience something different… spell important names, like Lidstrom and Ilitch, correctly to be even a touch respectable… and the last thing you want to read the morning after an ass-whooping is a 74th recap, describing what a dumpster fire looks like.

Following that train of thought, it’s time to break out a classic TPL coping mechanism. The first loss stung, but it didn’t HURT the way that the Stars jailsexing did. That was a thorough dismantling, and we all need something happy to help wash the salt out of the open wounds. And with that, I’d like to present the 2010-11 season’s first Loss Candy — and, like many things here, there’s a quasi-theme. Both of these stunners are in the news this week — for very different reasons.

EXHIBIT A :: Jenn Sterger

The unbelievably gorgeous 26-year-old (Jesus Christ, we’re old) has found the spotlight on her this week for a reason other than those magnificent sweater puppies. Once-American hero Brett Favre seems guilty of sending creepy ass voicemails and picture-camera shots of his junk to this young lady, who (I assume) is sweet as pie, makes a mean lasagna, and enjoys monster truck rallies. If she needs somewhere to lay low until the heat (and chodes) blow over, we’ve got an extra set of keys to TPLand in the drawer.

EXHIBIT B :: Tom Hardy

On the complete opposite end of the “How Are You Measuring Up This Week” scale sits the English actor. Stealing scenes in this summer’s mindfucker Inception paid off, as director Christopher Nolan has cast Hardy in “a lead role,” presumably as a villain, in the third installment of the Batman series — which means he’s probably set for life, and hopefully it lasts longer than the departed Heath Ledger.

There you have it. If these two can’t make it all better, I’m not sure anything will. If you have suggestions for future Loss Candies (that is, assuming the Red Wings lose again) — feel free to drop them in the comments or send us an e-mail.