One More Nod to Summer Girls, for the Lyte Funky Ones

Hilfiger. Nice touch.

WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
The Red Wings play their second game of the pre-season, taking on the defending (redacted) Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks. The puck drops at the new Joe Louis (LOUIS!) start time: 7pm.

WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?
1. Coming off a straight-up ass-whomping at the hands of the Pittsburgh Penguins, the Wings should want to get back on the right foot.
2. Unlike Wednesday, tonight’s game is televised. You can check it out on NHL Network.
3. New Blackhawk netminder (haw haw) Marty Turco will not be playing in tonight’s game. But unlike Red Wings goalies, who spend their off-nights charting faceoffs, Turco will be in the Joe’s rafters looking for his jock strap. BOOYAH.

NOW WHERE WERE WE?
The last game between the two Norris Division rivals was the final game of the 09-10 regular season. The Wings were 3-2 overtime winners.

OH, HI AGAIN
Slovak lovers Tomas Kopecky and Marian Hossa are members of the Hawks, each finding different ways to shaft that salary cap situation.

MEMBA ME?!
As we all know, Dan “Loins” Cleary was a first round pick of Chicago back in the day.

BEST NAME NOMINEE
Dustin Byfuglien. What’s that? Oh right… Akim Aliu. Oops, nevermind… Kris Verste–DAMMIT…

THEIR LAST GAMES
One team won their last game — the other lost theirs. Speaking of which, it’s an old sports saying that “the goal is to win your final game,” but that’s not entirely true. I’m sure ONE of the fourteen teams that didn’t make the playoffs won their last game, right?

EXPECTED LINEUP
Datsyuk — Zetterberg — Holmstrom
Ritola — Modano — Cleary
Maltby — Helm — Eaves
Owens — Emmerton — Mursak

Lidstrom — Kronwall
Ericsson — Salei
Janik — Smith

Howard (two periods)
MacDonald

In memoriam… rest in peace, Rich Cronin.
BIG LEAGUE SCRATCHES
Jakub “New Kids On The Block Had a Bunch of Hits” Kindl
Chris “Chinese Food Makes Me Sick” Osgood
Valtteri “It’s Fly When Girls Stop By For the Summer” Filppula
Justin “I Like Girls That Wear Abercrombie and Fitch” Abdelkader
Brian “Hip Hop Marmalade Spic and Span” Rafalski
Brad “I Like Kevin Bacon But I Hate Footloose” Stuart
Derek “Wrote a Bunch of Sonnets” Meech
Drew “Love Fun Dip and Cherry Coke” Miller
Todd “I’ll Steal Your Honey Like I Stole Your Bike” Bertuzzi

INJURIES
Kris “The Great Larry Bird Jersey 33” Draper (groin)
Johan “Shake and Wiggle” Franzen (charley mule)

Honorable Mention
Jason “Willy Whistle Cuz I Can’t Speak” Williams
Michael “J. Fox was Alex P.” Babcock
Aaron “Krown to Act Wild and Make a Girl Smile” Downey

QUICK THOUGHTS
1. Brendan Smith makes his Red Wings debut, and has been much hyped leading up to his first pro season. Can’t be worse than Derek Meech and Brian Lashoff, amiright?!
2. Chris Osgood didn’t have a strong performance in his pre-season debut against a stacked Penguins squad, and behind a weak defense. Let’s hope for a better effort on all parts in front of Jimmy Howard
3. Johan Franzen took a knee to the thigh, but has been walking and doesn’t seem like he’ll miss any time. Thank the Mule Gods.

6 thoughts on “One More Nod to Summer Girls, for the Lyte Funky Ones”

    1. Gotta think he’s now an outsider to make any NHL team’s Opening Day lineup. I mean, look at his stats line from the other night- 6 shifts, 3 minutes and change TOI, -3, and out with a concussion?

      Of course, this means Toronto will sign him to play in a pairing with Lebda (who also got hurt in his last game). It’s time for the Lebdeech to terrorize the faithful fans of some other team, right?

  1. Thanks, guys, now I’m going to have those songs stuck in my head all the way down to JLA this evening. On the other hand, HOLY CRAP, the Joe’s open for business! Seeing as the Hawks regular roster will look like a pre-season one this year, let’s get a giant win!

Comments are closed.