Alternate title (h/t @mserven): “HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO VETS”
Very troubling news just came streaming down the RWFeed… well, not so much troubling as “aw that’s nice” with a sprinkle of “oh shit, they let him near children?”
As part of a state-wide tour, a handful of Red Wings are visiting schools and hospitals, hangin’ out with the kids and veterans and definitely not attacking them from behind.
Justin Adbelkader and Drew Miller are going to (wait for it…) East Lansing and Muskegon. Homer, Nick Lidstrom, and Patty Eaves are going to spend some time in Grand Rapids before meeting up with the aforementioned Spartans. Darren Helm, Tiberius Howard, newbie (I hope he’s hazed) Mike Modano, and THE SHETUZZ are checking out Flint and Saginaw.
But the real story here is that someone from PR thought that Todd Bertuzzi’s gap-toothed face wouldn’t scare the ever-loving bejesus out of children in Flint and veterans in Saginaw.
Here are a list of things that I assume are less frightening to third graders — feel free to add to this list in the comments:
2. The boogie man.
4. Chelsea Handler.
5. Pedo Bear.