Snakes STILL weren’t tossed

So, this is where you can usual rely on seeing some hot lady-type (or, occasionally, man-type) action after a Wings loss, but since Andy flat out stole that idea — and used the same gal, no less — we’re left with that jumbled mess above.

On to things that matter…

The Wings blew two leads on the way to a 3-2 loss in Game 1 against the Coyotes. All three Phoenix goals came on the power play, which was a juxtaposition from the post-Olympic Wings special teams, which have been phenomenal. I blame Brad McCrimmon. Because that’s what we do around here.

Jimmy Howard played fairly well, and composed, in his post-season debut, but he was out-goaltended (is that a term?) by Ilya Bryzgalov. We all knew that the Yotes tender was the player to beat this series, and he showed us why – despite what Tyler described as the one of the weakest goals of all time off of the stick of Tomas Holmstrom. For the record, Disch called this goal – almost verbatim. Dude played out of his mind – which is becoming a theme in Wings playoff series.

Darren Helm played the first half of the game like it was the ’08 or ’09 playoffs: as if he was shot out of a damn cannon and was told his mother would be killed if he didn’t make contact with all five Coyotes in a shift. I have to wonder how long it is until Justin Abdelkader enters the lineup. There were a handful of useless players — particularly on the kill — that he could easily replace in this lineup. The only way the PK could have been worse is if they allowed a goal EIGHT seconds into a power play, as opposed to the nine last night. As soon as Nik Kronwall was called for hooking at the beginning of the third period, Hollis says to me via G-Chat “here goes the game.” And he was right.

There was a grand total of ONE shitty snake. The ratio of out-of-state-fans-strapping-dead-slimy-sea-creatures-to-themselves to locals-ponying-up-nine-cents was 1:1. Way to go, Arizona.

I’m convinced that Henrik Zetterberg is (still) injured. He just doesn’t have that fire in his ass. There was a moment in the third period that he probably could have gotten to a loose puck before Phoenix, but he stayed stiff, like he was spasming. We all know he has back issues, and I bet you anything that he’s ginger from the grind of the season and/or an injury we don’t know about.

Finally, the blown high-sticking call on Nicklas Lidstrom. Yes, the refs missed one. We all know that. But shut up about it. The athlete in me is forced to say that you shouldn’t put yourself in a position to be beaten by a blown call, a non-call, or anything that anyone can do that’s out of your own control – which includes the referees. There would be no vast conspiracy if the Red Wings cared enough to play three whole periods of hockey or successfully kill a penalty. It’s shitty — but that’s sports. If you only play enough to stay sort of in the game until the final two minutes, you didn’t play hard enough.

Excuse the relative absence. Hoping things calm down a bit over here.