TPL on the radio, some Latinas, and The Clinch

First things first, Saturday afternoon I had an opportunity to hop on The Good Old Hockey Show and chat about H2H, the Wings playoff prospects, the Todd Bertuzzi Song, and James Tiberius Howard the IV. It was an awesome time – those guys are the real deal, and I sincerely look forward to joining them again if they’ll have me back. They were nice enough to forward me a link directly to my portion of the show, which you can access by clicking here.

Saturday’s game was a bit of a shitshow. I understand there were lots of turnovers and the Flyers got away with murder, but we all know who’s to blame for the soft goals in the opening minutes of periods, don’t we? That’s right…Mike Babcock. How could Mike Babcock not get more than just a fraction of a glove on that first shot – on known-sniper Daniel “198 Penalty Minutes” Carcillo, no less? And doesn’t Mike Babcock know better than to be swimming by the faceoff circle after a brutal Bertuzzi pinch? All I’m saying is Mike Babcock has to know better. If Scotty Bowman were involved, that game was a victory…

Since it wasn’t a victory… your delayed Latina:

And since I promised the ladies some equal opportunity:

Am I doing it right? If not, I’ll need suggestions.

Despite the loss, the Red Wings pulled an Eastern Conference move and slid backwards, off-balance, into the playoffs thanks to a Calgary Flames loss. For the 19th straight season, Detroit will play in the post-season tournament. That’s the longest current streak in major professional sports, and an unbelievable accomplishment for all involved after the tumultuous year we’ve all had to stress through.

Thanks to an asshole-filled weekend of hockey, the Red Wings sit two points behind Nashville, with only one game in hand. The Predators hold the tie-breaker, so we’re going to need some help to leapfrog them, and we all know how much help we’ve gotten from everyone else this season. To make matters worse, the Kings sit one point behind the Wings AND have a game in hand, so 7th place isn’t really out of the question.

1 :: San Jose :: 79 GP :: 107 pts (at Cgy, vs. Vnc, vs. Phx)
2 :: Chicago :: 78 GP :: 105 pts (at Dal, vs. Stl, at Col, vs. Det)
3 :: Vancouver :: 79 GP :: 100 pts (vs. Col, at SJ, vs. Cgy)
4 :: Phoenix :: 79 GP :: 102 pts (vs. Nsh, at LA, at SJ)
5 :: Nashville :: 80 GP :: 98 pts (at Phx, vs. Stl)
6 :: Detroit :: 79 GP :: 96 pts (vs. Clb, at Clb, at Chi)
7 :: Los Angeles :: 78 GP :: 95 pts (at Ahm, vs. Phx, vs. Edm, at Col)
8 :: Colorado :: 78 GP :: 91 pts (at Vnc, at Edm, vs. Chi, vs. LA)
9 :: Calgary :: 79 GP :: 89 pts (vs. SJ, vs. Min, at Vnc)

The next game that really matters is on Tuesday, when LA and Anaheim face off. Vomittingly, we’ll be rooting for the Ducks. Kill yourself.

Darren Helm had his nose broken, which is anything but cool with me, but he recanted the most badass quote of all-time to the Free Press (h/t to Nightmare on Helm Street for the linkage): “if it’s broken, it’s broken.” It’s official: Darren Helm reads our stuff and stays abreast of Twitter conversations, because just last week Herm suggested that TPL publish a Rocky-themed pre-game. I immediately put it on the list (yeah, I keep a list – what of it?), but after 43’s pants-dropping quote to the Freep, it’s at the top. The next pre-game I do will have Rocky nicknames, count on it.

10 thoughts on “TPL on the radio, some Latinas, and The Clinch”

  1. Clint Howard = sex in a fedora.

    I second the Rocky nicknames! My favorite series of movies combined with the Wings and the awesomeness of TPL nicknames? I am anxiously awaiting it.

  2. Rocky nicknames FTW.

    And yeah, let's all blame Babbles. It's his fault that those goals went in.

    Downloading the audio now, looking forward to hearing it.

  3. May the entire Flyers organization contract a painful, oozing strain of genital monkey herpes from Scott Hartnells whooore wife.

  4. Brutal first shot = goal aside (just looked like he couldn't be bothered to reach a little higher), I think the others were just defensive (and Todd) face-palms.

    Also, what mojo is it that Lilja brings to the defense that they play so much better when he starts?

  5. LOL, Petrella! Yeah, you now how to ease the aching hearts of your female audience. I still can't unsee that Chara picture, so thank you for that.

    Dan Carcillo has to be, IMHO, the most disgusting, syphilitic, pathetic excuse for a caveman that there will ever be. The fact that he scored a goal 17 seconds into the game on Floodgates makes me so angry. Don't get me wrong, Floody should've had it (and wasn't that a wince felt around the Red Wings nation at that one going in), but the fact that it was a syphilitic monkey that did it made it much worse. I hate that guy. And that's a lot, considering this team has Pronger on it. In fact, with all the gooning going on from the Ducks of the East, I barely noticed him. And I freakin' hate that guy.

    Darren Helm, I want to have roadrunner babies with you, you magnificent speedy, bastard. Can't wait to see the Rocky nicknames.

    Also, Andre, I'm fully convinced that Lilja just completely sucks the suck out of Lebda & Ericsson. I suspect it's more along the lines of him being so vocal & bossy out there telling them where to be that the boys don't overthink it and make good plays. I honestly believe that if we want Rig to develop into the defenseman we all hope he will be, Lils's gotta stay. Plus, it keeps my all-time favorite d-pairing of Lebda/Stuart from being out on the ice. Sheesh, Babbles…

  6. Nurse,

    "I'm fully convinced that Lilja just completely sucks the suck out of Lebda & Ericsson."

    I took me waaaay too long to correctly decipher the meaning of this phrase. I would now like to apologize to Lilja, Lebda & Ericsson for my mental error.

  7. LOL, sorry about any mental anguish that might have caused you, Andre! I realize now that I could've phrased that better, but I've been saying that out loud for a while now, and maybe it just doesn't translate to paper/internet/whatever. Either way, Lils makes them suck less, how about that?

    And btw, Petrella, Sara & I caught an episode of Jerseylicious at my cousins's house yesterday. It was so god-awful and yet so addictive. You're missing out on some great stuff, my friend, haha j/k 😉

  8. If you are really looking for equal opportunity suggestions for the ladies, I think you are missing the most obvious choice (and no I don't mean the TPL staff!)…the legend that was born at the Town Pump at the H2H after-party, none other than Mike Serven himself 😉
    It would probably do wonders for his ego!

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