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Mar 5 :: Red Wings remain TPL’s Greatest Love of All

TPL Exclusive: Good Whitney Houston will return if the Wings make the playoffs

The Red Wings and Predators meet for the fourth of six times this season. Puck drops at 7:30pm Eastern. The Wings are 2-1 against SMASHVILLE! 

Each goal tonight is worth at least $23.
Matching TPL’s pledge of $2 per goal tonight are Natalie of The Scrappy Octopus, Drew from Nightmare on Helm Street, Rob from Etched in Cold, Jennbikegirl, Brad Boswell, SigSegFalt, and Sara from A Neuie Perspective. Mike Serven has pledged $5 per goal and my pops is dropping 10% of the grand total. There are player-specific pledges as well, but they’ve become too numerous to list. The best-case scenario is: Todd Bertuzzi scoring from Nicklas Lidstrom and Tomas Holmstrom. That combo is worth $47.30

A win is worth at least $76.
Vicky Bash has pledged $26 per win, Mike Serven $19, Andy from Fight Night at the Joe $9, Beanie $5, Nurse Nitz $5, CaptNorris5 $5. Plus the same 10%. Krononymous will donate an extra $5 for a shutout
Game-specific pledges: 
The only game-specific pledge tonight was made by Jennbikegirl. She will donate $5 for every Niklas Kronwall hit against the Predators. 


1. Jimmy Howard is back in net after his poor effort on Wednesday.
2. Jonathan Ericsson in the press box, where he belongs, as Brett Lebda re-joins the active roster.
3. The Wings are coming off of one of their most uninspired performances in a season full of uninspired performances. 
On January 29th, the Wings beat the Predators 4-2. Tiberius was tending the crease, and the good guys got goals from Henrik Zetterberg, Drew Miller, Nick Lidstrom, and Jason Williams. 
Andy Delmore was the only player in either system to spend time in the other, but the Wings traded him to Calgary for Riley Armstrong on Deadline Day. Patric Hornqvist is Nashville’s BNN.

–Detroit got smoked by Vancouver, 6-3, on Wednesday. 
–Nashville beat Los Angeles, 4-2, last night. 
–Detroit Red Wings :: 29-22-12 (3rd in Central, 8th in West) :: 16-9-5 at home. 
–Smashville Saberteef :: 35-23-5 (2nd in Central, 7th in West) :: 17-12-3 on the road.  
New Predators Dustin Boyd and Denis Grebeshkov may feel they have something to prove :: This Fire Truck 

Franzen — Datsyuk — Holmstrom
Williams — Zetterberg — Cleary
Bertuzzi — Filppula — Miller
Draper — Helm — Eaves
Lidstrom — Rafalski
Kronwall — Stuart
Lebda — Lilja
Howard (starting)
Inspiration for today’s nicknames came from our good friend Krononymous, who made an off-the-cuff remark that Johan Franzen was saving all his goals for Huet like a certain Whitney Houston song must have been talking about…
Honorable Mentions
Darren “I Believe The Children Are Our Future” Helm
Chris “Remind Us How We Used to Be” Osgood
Jimmy “I Decided Long Ago Never To Walk In Anyone’s Shadows” Howard
Kris “I Will Always Love You” Draper
Drew “Ain’t it Shocking What Love Can Do” Miller
Pavel “Shoop De Boop Shoop Shoop” Datsyuk
Johan “They Say I’m Crazy I Don’t Really Care” Franzen 
Henrik “I Have Nothing, Nothing, Nothing if I Don’t Have You” Zetterberg
Nicklas “I’ve Got More than Enough to Make You Drop to Your Knees” Lidstrom
Todd “I Remember the Way That We Touched I Wish I Didn’t Like it So Much” Bertuzzi
For Natalie :: Tomas “I Keep Your Photograph Beside My Bed” Holmstrom
1. James Tiberius Howard needs a much better effort after being pulled for only the second time this season. One might have thought this would have been a good time to go with Osgood, but obviously Mike Babcock has made up his mind about which of his goaltenders is the starter — and is going to ride him when points are needed.
2. Trying out a new defense corps tonight. Jonathan Ericsson is out, thanks to his various defensive woes, and is being replaced by Brett Lebda. The last time Big E was in the press box, it was pretty much unanimous in the blogosphere that that’s where he should have been. But only one game went by, as Nik Kronwall was re-injured. Perhaps this time he’ll be up there a bit longer, and will have a chance to watch and see that no, you are not, in fact, supposed to stand absolutely still in front of the net ignoring your assignment.
3. A little bit of a line shakeup. Bertuzzi drops to the third line (we’re on the right track…) after going twelve games without a goal. Such a shame… so promising… I’ll ask again. Who, WHO I SAY, could have possibly foreseen that he would need Pavel Datsyuk and/or Henrik Zetterberg feeding him to score goals? Unheard of.
4. Along those same lines, Jason Williams is rewarded for his goal on Wednesday with a chance to play with Z. How will he do with the increased minutes and better linemates?

WHAT WE LEARNED against the Canucks
Oh, piss on your red hat.

Have you seen this badger? What a badass…

22 thoughts on “Mar 5 :: Red Wings remain TPL’s Greatest Love of All”

  1. Glad you liked it! I felt like Tomas "I Keep Feeling Your Heartbeat Inside of Me" Holmstrom might have been a little inappropriate.

  2. I do think Ericsson sitting is a good idea, but it seems like a strange time to do it. He was one of the few guys that had a positive +/- last game. Not sure if that's due to luck or ability though. I'm thinking more luck. Maybe Lebda'll be able to do something. (yeah right, haha, very funny)


    Dear Kronner, please punish the annoying Preds tonight. Hit them hard. Hit them often. Hit them for the children! Thank you.

  4. That nickname for Homer might have been a little inappropriate, yes, but since when has that stopped this place? I thought Nick's rivaled that one. Silly me, I read it in class again…got a few funny looks when I started laughing.

  5. Oh The nicknames were amazing, great work amigo. If Todd doesn't score today then he must really hate children.

  6. Despite feeling more of a spiritual connection to #96 than a purely physical one, there is absolutely NOTHING inappropriate about implying that Homer wishes we engaged in a coital relationship. In fact, I was wondering if the above-referenced photo he keeps by his bed is one he somehow procured from that spring break in sunny Tijuana…

  7. Honey Badger FTW.

    I fear for Patrick Eaves tonight. He's our shot-blocking specialist and the Nashville blue-liners can just hammer the puck.

  8. It looks like I need to hop aboard this frolicking, jailsexed train and pony up some cabbage. Michael, as you and I discussed, I was going to plege $2 for every goal scored (ours or the opponents) while the Big Rig was on the ice 'til the end of the season(I know a WIND-FALL for the kids right?!?) Since he's not in the game tonight (and may not ever be in again) here's $17 (his current minus stat) Next, if Patrick Eaves scores tonight or Sunday..$17. If Darren Helm scores tonight or Sunday…$17 more (his current pt total) Finally, since Lidstom's +/- is +17, $17 for each goal he scores tonight and Sunday. C'mon Nick!! Have to run for now; have an urge to find a roulette table….

  9. Drew, you got it. Anything to help speed along a boring Friday.

    WingedUP, Agreed. Feels strange to sit one of the few PLUS players, but obviously a shake-up was needed and they don't have any more forwards to shake THOSE lines up… Seemed like the only option. But I agree, weird timing. And you nailed something else, too: we are in no way afraid of being too inappropriate. That's why you guys and gals keep coming back, am I right? (End Nick Pappagiorgio voice)

    Jenn, I'm hoping Kronwall hits everything that moves. For the kids… ya know. Not my sick desire to watch him to Havlat some peeps.

    Maria, it's official already: Todd hates children, puppy dogs, ice cream, rainbows, midgets, women, minorities, fire fighters, apple pie, grandparents, veterans, servicemen and women, widows, cartoons, and weddings. He also strangely identifies with that bastard badger.

    JJ, when I saw that video for the first time, I became sad. I knew that I would never – no matter how hard I tried – ever be as cool as that 14 pound animal.

    Ma, that's one of the most well-researched pledges ever. Awesome addition to the chart (which grows more confusing every day). I'm sort of hoping Rig gets back in to give me something else to pay close attention to.

  10. I think that Nik Kronwall is deserving of the "I Keep Feeling Your Heartbeat Inside of Me" nickname. Because when I look at him, nothing that comes to my mind is "appropriate". My hope is to have Jordin TooToo Kronwalled to unconsiousness this evening, only to silence those F*CKING WHISTLES.

  11. eight_legged_freaks

    Once again, TPL shows the world that without them, the world would be a much darker place.

  12. Wow, I didn't know these would be such a big hit. I neglected Ville Leino, and those of you that have stuck around this long, maybe you'll appreciate a few more:

    Ville "Your Love is My Love and My Love is Your Love, It Would Take an Eternity to Break Us Up, The Chains of Amistad Couldn't Hold Us" Leino

    Johan "Well You Gotta You Gotta Way That You Make Me Feel I Can Do I Can Do Anything" Franzen

  13. Two observations:

    One, Mizz P, that pledge is officially the nuts. In one post you've completely outdone the entire TPL research staff. Granted, our intern herd is a little thin right now with two of our three Swedish blond interns heading back to their motherland, but still…bravo.

    Second, I saw more heart in that 3:00 Honey Badger clip than I've seen all season in Detroit. Wait…what's he doing now? He's looking for some honey? No? You're fcking kidding me? He's eating the BABIES?!?! SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! Also, the scene of him (clearly a male) attacking the cobra up in that tree…that's almost pants-tightening.

  14. I'm not sure which rocked my world more, the nicknames or the honey badger.

    Pavel's was pretty awesome I must say.

  15. One more thing, and this is a totally true story, I used the term "jailsexed" in a sentence last night, at work, to a coworker, and he just looked at me with a look of pure awe.

  16. See? And my sixth grade math teacher told me I'd never have a positive affect on anybody… I feel better already.

  17. I think Homer is our little Honey Badger.

    But seriously, you guys are scaring me just a little with the Whitney love. That said, Bert's is some kind of special!

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