Chris Osgood vs. some kids

Big time hat tip to Matt Saler for Tweeting this awesome story. Mike Mouat of the Red Wings Examiner shares this gem with us:

With three Stanley Cups and 396 career wins in his 16-year career in the NHL, Detroit Red Wings goaltender Chris Osgood is accustomed to stopping NHL snipers from finding the back of the net at Joe Louis Arena, but how will Osgood fare on his own home ice? This Saturday afternoon, Feb. 27th, Osgood will face off against six kids under the age of 14 in a two-hour session on his backyard ice rink, schooling the kids on the finer points of  hockey and making the most of his home-ice advantage.

I’m going to ignore for a second how incredibly jealous I am that Chris Osgood has a rink in his backyard and how totally awesome of Chris Osgood this is (but, for the record, it is)… and direct you back to Saler’s tweet anticipating snarky anti-Osgood comments. Well, friends, I’m sure we can oblige. I’ve already gotten the obvious “What’s the over/under,” “Does this count as a start,” and “Target save percentage: .900” out of the way, and now I turn it over to you. Please share your best Osgood comments in the comments below, because there is obviously gold hidden in this situation. I don’t want to make this a pro-Osgood vs. pro-Howard fight, I just figured it’s an appropriate time to talk nonsense and get some LULZ in before the NHL comes back.

To be clear, I don’t hate Chris Osgood personally. I’m sure he’s a good dude (when he’s not crying), but he’s made himself a target with his play the last few seasons and with his mouth this year. At this point, when he’s so obviously lost the debate for the pro-Osgood people, you can’t help but poke fun a litttttttle bit.

Let ‘er rip.

7 thoughts on “Chris Osgood vs. some kids”

  1. Well, this is probably the only chance Chris has to get some shots on him in a competetive setting, seeing how Babs only like to play Howard

  2. Projection: Ozzie lets in 3 softies immediately, gets the hook in favor of Howard who plays light-out, and loses control/spotlight at his own event. In his own damn backyard.

  3. It's instructional, eh?

    Here's Ozzie's bullet points to the kids:

    – Don't worry about covering the five hole.Nobody really shoots there anymore.

    – Playing time is crucial. Unless you start every game, blame your bad outings on "rust".

    – Make sure you let your coach know who's boss, since you're on the ice and he isn't. Even if it's your Dad.

    – Biggest lesson: The regular season is only important for breaking in your pads. Just pass the blame on to coaches and teammates until the playoffs start.

  4. I'm betting he throws the biggest kid out after he gets within two feet of him before Ozzie dives and calls goalie interference.

  5. Kid 1: can I go to the bathroom Mr. Osgood?

    Chris: Sure, it's inside, up the stairs, third door on the left.

    Kid 1: Thanks!

    *kid comes back five minutes later*

    Kid 1: Mr. Osgood? Why is there a picture of a scowling man with a big scar on his chin attached to your dart board?

    Chris: Oh eh, he…he…he… you saw that, huh?

  6. "All right kids, even though I'm real rusty because a certain someone won't give me the starts I clearly deserve, I've been fine-tuning my game thanks to a little help from this instructional video from Goldberg. You know, that kid who played the Mighty Ducks goalie."

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