Feb 11 :: Wings prepare fabled nose-punch





WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?

The Wings and Sharks meet for the second time this month, and the fourth and final time this regular season. Puck drops at 7:30pm Eastern.
WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?
1. For at least one player, this will be the final game they play as a Red Wing. Andreas Lilja’s conditioning stint expires after Friday’s Griffins game, at which time he has to be activated. The Red Wings will have to clear about $1.2M in cap space, meaning either [Jason Williams] OR [Brett Lebda + Brad May] has to go…unless Tick Tock has something up his sleeve. HAHA! You clicked that link. And now you’re infected. Get yourself checked. 
2. Johan Franzen played well in his first game back — game two is a big test, too. And, late breaking, Tomas Holmstrom will be in the lineup after all. 
3. Jimmy Howard gets the crease again. 
NOW WHERE WERE WE?
The last time these two teams played was February 2nd — the last time the Red Wings won a game. The final score was 4-2, and the Wings got goals from Hank, Buckets, Eaves, and Derek “Frolicking” Meech.
OH, HI AGAIN / MEMBA ME?! / BEST NAME NOMINEE
I’m beginning to think that we’re never going to do another new one of these…
 :: Brad Stuart used to be a Shark
 :: No one used to be a Red Wing
 :: Frazer McLaren is one of the best names I’ve ever heard 
THEIR LAST GAMES
–Detroit lost, in a shootout, to the goddamn Blues, 4-3, on Tuesday. 
–San Jose got jailsexed by Columbus, 3-0, last night. 
RECORDS
–Detroit Red Wings :: 27-21-11 (3rd in Central, 9th in West) :: 15-8-4 at home
–The Middle Child of California :: 39-12-9 (1st in Pacific, 1st in West) :: 20-7-2 on the road
EXPECTED LINEUP
Zetterberg — Datsyuk — Bertuzzi
Cleary — Filppula — Franzen
Draper — Helm — Maltby
Williams — Miller — Holmstrom
Lidstrom — Rafalski
Meech — Stuart
Lebda — Ericsson
Howard (starting)
Osgood
Nicknames courtesy of Snipe Snipe Dangle Dangle‘s Kris, and her inspiration, Clark the Canadian Goalie.
Scratch
Brad “Sweater Over the Head – the Classic Hockey Fight Maneuver” May
Injuries
Andreas “To Tell You the Truth, I Still Have No Idea” Lilja
Niklas “Snack on That For Lunch” Kronwall
Patrick “I Got Way Too Much Range For That” Eaves
Honorable Mention
Tomas “On a Garbage Goal by a Guy Who Was Clearly in the Crease” Holmstrom
Chris “Oh Yeah Coach, Show Me Whatcha Got” Osgood
Darren “No One’s Ever Turned a Double Play on Me” Helm
Pavel “I’ll Show Ya Hockey, Ya Hoser” Datsyuk
Johan “Oh So You’re Gonna Insult Me and My Homeland All in One Nugget, Eh?” Franzen
Todd “Yes, There is a Derogatory Connotation to the Term” Bertuzzi
Mike “Ya Friggin’ Hoser” Babcock
Ville “No Stick, No Speed” Leino

QUICK THOUGHTS
1. Homer is still banged up, was once again a “game time decision,” but is going to give it a go. Malik has an awesome piece where he suggests that the Red Wings are doing him (and Franzen) a favor by sitting them a bit in preparation of the Olympics. 
2. Going 4-0 against the conference-leading Sharks would give the Wings a boost, says Kirk Maltby. I hope you’re right, Malts, because nothing else has worked. 
3. Tiberius says that the Wings are adjusting to playing with a different roster every damn night. Well, it’s going to change again. Tell me who YOU think is going to go to make room for Lilja: Williams, Lebda+May, or some other player/combination of players?
4. Don’t look now, but either Henrik Zetterberg or Pavel Datsyuk has scored in seven of the last eight games. In related news, Todd Bertuzzi hasn’t scored in eight and is even losing favor with the Protuzzi crowd. [BET WITH FIGHTNIGHT’S ANDY UPDATE: He’s on pace for 20.8. I like my frolicking chances…]
5. Happy Birthday to Chris Hollis. Here’s hoping the Red Wings deliver 26 goals in recognition.
6. Happy Birthday to The Triple Deke. Here’s hoping the Red Wings deliver MORE THAN two goals in recognition. 
WHAT WE LEARNED vs. the Blues
It’s not just the Red Wings’ opponents that can come back from two down in the third.
SHARK WE COVET (JJ Special)
So sayeth JJ:

Oh thank god, I was worried I was going to have to go with one of the Sharks from West Side Story and work it into how his hot latino blood might be good for the team, plus he could protect us from getting jailsexed. Then I thought admitting to knowing so much about West Side Story probably isn’t a good idea. 

Instead, I’ll take Jabberjaw. 

A shark who’s a mix between Curly from the Three Stooges and Rodney Dangerfield? Yes. Please. Also, I think he’d be able to bring some much-needed levity to the Wings locker room.

6 thoughts on “Feb 11 :: Wings prepare fabled nose-punch”

  1. JAILSEXED!

    I am getting nervous about that bet. Come on Todd. Todd, I promise you that I will record it anyway, just let me do it without pressure, come one and score those last five or whatever.

  2. Hee hee – those shark bites have electrolytes! They've got what plants crave.

    Kris (if you're reading this) – Fabulous nicknames. Michael – excellent use of TPL's new favorite words.

    And I knew better than to click on that YouTube link. But it didn't help – just seeing the words was enough.

  3. So, I watched the whole music video. A few thoughts:

    1. Who knew that was a 12 year old white chick singing that song?
    2. Speaking of mustaches and 12 year olds, anyone else think it looks a little suspicious that she's hanging out with a guy with handlebars and a trans am?
    3. Speaking of handlebars, there's no way anyone in their right mind swaps that gold-plated bike for a boom box. No chance. That ghetto blaster is a $30 item at the local pawn shop. Might be worth bringing in my brother Johnny as a consult on this. He pretty much lives at Mustang Pawn.
    4. Speaking of brothers, I picked up on some racial tension between Clark the Goalie and the second baseman, which proves that Canadians are racist. There. I said it.

  4. Man, I'm glad I don't have sound on my work computer.

    Ha, just kidding. I'm watching that as soon as I get home.

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