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Jan 16 :: Texas? Afternoon? MUST be hockey!

That is a mighty fine looking college hockey jersey there…

First things first — you may notice that in the upper right hand corner, you’ll find links to our uber-popular WHERE’S BERTUZZI and WHERE’S SHE-TUZZI posts. PLEASE continue to add comments, they’re keeping us aLOLing (TM, Tyler).


The Red Wings are back on the road for an afternoon game vs. Dallas. 2pm Eastern
1. Jimmy Howard starting his eleventy billionth time in a row.
2. The power play looked much less anemic than it has lately. Build off it.
3. Are Brad May and Krys Barch going to continue this charade and pretend they don’t like one another for 45 seconds, and then spend the rest of the night giggling like She-Tuzzis about it?
This is the fourth meeting of the season between these squads. The latest was a 4-3 Stars victory at Dallas on December 19th. Howard played in that contest. Interestingly, it was the first game of back-to-backs (the second half was Chicago…WEIRD!). Goals were scored by Homer, Bertuzzi, and Datsyuk. The team was missing Lilja, Franzen, Filppula, Williams, Kronwall, Cleary, Ericsson, and Zetterberg.
We’ve been over this a handful of times now, so here’s the rundown.
 :: Janik is a former Star, but he’s back in Grand Rapids now.
 :: No former Red Wings in Dallas
 :: Mark Fistric is the best name on a roster full of lame names.
–Detroit rebounded to beat Carolina, 3-1, on Thursday.
–Dallas lost to Montreal, 5-3, on Thursday.
–Detroit Red Wings :: 24-16-6 (3rd in Central, 9th in West) :: 10-9-4 on the road.
–RIP Minnesota North Stars :: 19-17-11 (4th in Pacific, 11th in West) :: 12-5-5 at home.
Jere Lehtinen :: Mike Modano :: Alpha Centauri :: Brendan Morrow :: James Neal :: Mike Ribeiro (injured) :: Brad Richards :: Matt Niskanen :: Marty Turco
Zetterberg — Datsyuk — Bertuzzi
Miller — Filppula — Cleary
Draper — Helm — Eaves
May — Abdelkader — Maltby
Lidstrom — Rafalski
Stuart — Ericsson
Lebda — Meech
Howard (starts)

*Nicknames courtesy of Gino the Ginny, a theme recommended by Ellen, she chipped in some of the following, as well*
Johan “I Smell Like Gahlic” Franzen
Jason “I Can’t Feel My Legs!” Williams
Niklas “I’M ON STEROIDS…. Bitch” Kronwall
Tomas “GO GET ME ANOTHA BUMP” Holmstrom


1. Tiberius has played very well lately, but he has a poor record against Dallas. However, in his one win and three losses, he’s only allowing 2.2 goals a game. So here’s hoping he offense can put some pucks in the Stars net. 
2. Can Lidstrom build on his goal? I foresee seven goals from Shiny Nickel today.
3. Speaking of which, if the Stars are going to continue to dive into shooting lanes, the Wings are going to have to put forth a better effort down low and put some tic-tacs onto toes.
4. Hey, wait a second. Where’s Todd Bertuzzi been? Oh, those hundreds of places you all have come up with…. because he sure as hell hasn’t been scoring goals. Which explains why my BlackBerry hasn’t caught fire lately.
5. Really hoping for a goal onslaught from Zetterberg and Datsyuk.  

WHAT WE LEARNED vs. the Hurricanes
W00t! This is what it feels like to pick on the weaker kids…

Once again, I turned to dear friend of TPL, JJ from Kansas, who offered this wonderousness:

Mike Ribeiro… ahaha, just kidding, I’d rather be raped by an Australian prisoner than accept that dirtbag on the Wings roster. For real though, I’d take Loui Eriksson. He’s big, he’s Swedish, and his name comes pre-packaged for an awesome song to be played at the Joe whenever he scores (especially if you’re a fan of Animal House, which you are if you’re not a commie).

11 thoughts on “Jan 16 :: Texas? Afternoon? MUST be hockey!”

  1. I hope Tiberius sticks. It just sort of happened one day here at TPL, and it took off. Feel free to help me spread the word. HA

  2. I'll try to start calling him Tiberius, but I'm still used to calling him JIMMAH from his early games this season when he flopped around like a spaz. That one's carried him from derision to pride.

    Anybody willing to share some blame with me today for calling Bertuzzi with a goal?

  3. I certainly don't want to REPLACE Jimmah. That's way too awesome a nickname to give up.

    I have an ideological problem with calling Bertuzzi goal, but any other claim and you'd have a partner in crime in me.

  4. Ok, I'll still call him JIMMAH when he makes a great save, but Tiberius when talking about him between games or when referring to him in his sense of his growing leadership as a goalie for this team.

    I'd like to call anybody else, but I don't think any of the Wings need a goal as badly as Bert does. I don't want him losing his confidence and bringing his linemates down agaain. It hasn't happened yet, but the post he hit last game got me worried.

    How about Eaves? He's been working hard and could certainly use one.

  5. I'm going with Cleary for a goal. And Tiberius (or Tibby for short) will henceforth be his nickname. Which I mentioned in my WIM post

  6. I've written James Tiberius Howard several times during the last months without thinking, then noticed it and deleted it, but if it's free for us all to use I will use it.

    Animal House R.O.C.K.S.

    I'll call a Bertuzzi goal and share the blame with JJ. After all you all kinda owe me for Nick's goal

  7. Tiberius works – glad to see someone else using it.

    I call Eaves with a goal, because he's been working so hard – and I think it's time Helm scored another and made Turco look stupid, too. 🙂

  8. Andy, I meant to mention that to you — I didn't know until after the post-games all game out that you and Kris had an arrangement. You, sir, saved his season. Well done.

    Baroque, Eaves is due. Not that what he's doing isn't appreciated, because he's a stud. But, he's buzzing. Anybody who calls the goal-scorer gets full credit from me.

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