Jan 9 :: IMMA SHAAAAAAAARK

WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
Wings. Sharks. Saturday. Late night. But you slept in today, so you can make it.
WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?
1. Jimmy Howard, coming off (and there’s no overstatement here) the GREATEST SINGLE ACHIEVEMENT IN HUMAN HISTORY, is starting his eighth straight game. Chris Osgood, vowing to play something again, had no comment as he walked into the local Lazer Tag joint (for the record, the lazers all went right between his legs over and over again).
2. Ville Leino has been re-assigned to the ANYWHERE BUT HERE affiliate.
3. The Red Wings are playing an actual good team in San Jose, so allowing 52 shots won’t fly. Also, San Jose is one of the strongest home teams in the league, only having lost three times in the Cow Palace. Oh wait, they don’t play there anymore. Well, wherever it is they play…they’ve only lost three times.
NOW WHERE WERE WE?
The last meeting took place on November 5th. The Red Wings won 2-1 in a shootout. Chris Osgood was in net, and Zetterberg had the only goal in regulation (he added another in the shootout, as did Datsyuk).

OH, HI AGAIN 
There are no former Red Wings on the Sharks’ NHL roster, but former prospect Danny Groulx is in their system.

MEMBA ME?! 
For the second game in a row, Brad Stuart is facing a former team (this time, the one that drafted him third overall in 1998). He was part of the deal that sent Jumbo Joe to Cali.

BEST NAME NOMINEE
No-brainer. Frazer McLaren.
THEIR LAST GAMES
–Detroit (or, more accurately, Jimmy Howard and Darren Helm) defeated the Kings, 2-1, on Thursday.
–St. Joe’s defeated St. Louie’s, 2-1, in overtime, on Wednesday.
RECORDS
–Detroit Red Wings :: 22-15-6 (3rd in Central, 9th in West) :: 9-8-4 on the road.
–San Jose Teals :: 28-9-7 (1st in Pacific, 2nd in West) :: 14-3-5 at home.
SHARKS YOU SHOULD KNOW
Ryan Clowe :: Dany Heatley :: Patrick Marleau :: Jamie McGinn :: This Sumbitch :: Joe Pavelski :: Devin Setoguchi :: Joe Thornton  :: Rob Blake :: Dan Boyle :: Evgeni Nabokov
EXPECTED LINEUP
Leino out, May in. It’s like trading a Buick with three wheels and a missing door, for a tractor. But you live downtown.
Zetterberg — Datsyuk — Bertuzzi
Miller — Filppula — Cleary
Draper — Helm — Eaves
May — Abdelkader — Maltby
Lidstrom — Rafalski
Stuart — Meech
Lebda — Janik
Howard (starts)
Osgood
Nicknames courtesy of the brilliant @jennyquarx and her hilarious hubby. I don’t want to give away what they’re from — I’ll leave the Googling to you.
Scratch
Ville “God Made All This and He Remembered to Make a Little Speck Like Me” Leino
Injuries
Andreas “The Strain Was Too Much For Him to Bear” Lilja
Johan “I’m Your Huckleberry” Franzen
Jason “I Apologize. I Forgot You Were There. You May Go Now” Williams
Niklas “And Hell’s Coming With Me” Kronwall
Jonathan “He’s No Daisy” Ericsson
Tomas “No Not Me. I’m In My Prime” Holmstrom
(Worth mentioning, they gave me one for Brad May, too, just in case he was the scratch again, and it’s hilarious. Brad “Are You Gonna Do Somethin’ or Are You Just Gonna Stand There and Bleed” May)
QUICK THOUGHTS
1. Can Jimmy Howard deliver another middle finger to Brian Burke?
2. Nick Lidstrom had a great game, as Rob pointed out in NWA, but it’d be swell if he netted one against the big-time Sharks.
3. I wouldn’t go so far as to say Zetterberg was struggling against L.A., but he was overshadowed by Dan Cleary (in that, the latter scored). Is it Z’s turn to Rock the Box Score Boogie (TM)?
4. I’ll be recording another episode of The Obstructed View on Sunday, which means (of course) that Todd Bertuzzi is going to score three goddamn times to make me look like even more of an asshole. Curly fries, Todd. Curly fries. Standby for Episode Five, featuring yours truly, Chief, Saler and – per usual – Hollis and Brian.
WHAT WE LEARNED vs. the Kings
“Mmmmm MMMM! Godddddamn, Jimmy. This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster’s Choice, right, but he springs this GOURMET shit on us!”

SHARK WE COVET (JJ Special)
There’s a bunch on the roster that would look good in red and white. Eventual-70-goal-scorer (way to go, Keith Jones) Dany Heatley, Devin Setoguchi, Joe Pavelski, Pat Marleau. I’m going to go a different direction and say Jamie McGinn. I watched his first NHL game last season, as a call-up (which I believe he still is), and noticed him on every single shift. The only other player I remember seeing over and over and over again and wondering “who the hell is that!?” was Val Filppula.

14 thoughts on “Jan 9 :: IMMA SHAAAAAAAARK”

  1. Let's hope your hat trick prediction comes through. That's make it fifteen. Also, if it does, then you have to be on every episode

  2. Andy, I'm so confident I'm going to win that bet, I've stopped worrying altogether. Unless there really is a pre-TOV hat trick for me tonight. Then…worried. HA

    Jenn, HA! I wonder what percentage of TPL readers will just KNOW the reference… more than 50%?

  3. I'd let the Sharts keep all their damn players if we could only have McLellan back behind Babs. Good choice with McGinn though. Hopefully he's not spent enough time around Jumbo Joe to catch his Temporal Grinchism (wherein during a specific time each year, his heart all but disappears).

    Ah, the Land Shark. Those were the good old days with the Samurai Chef and the Phone Company (we don't care because we don't have to).

  4. Michael: If I lose, which I won't (I think), would you prefer the already offered acoustic version or should I try and get some other musicians and make a band version?

  5. Holy shit, that's quite an offer…

    Man… I dunno. I desperately want to hear this band version, but we've already agreed. I tell ya what, I'll leave it up to you if (WHEN) it's time to pay up.

  6. mkay. Then if I lose I'll try and get one of my two bands to do it with me, if they won't I'll just do it acoustic…

  7. The Land Shark is great, but I'm a Bass-O-Matic girl. And the fact that it's a question IF people will get that makes me feel even older than I actually am (ie, ancient).

    Also, love the Buick/tractor analogy. Perfect.

  8. Thanks, Christine! I'm glad someone caught the Buick analogy. I was afraid it'd get passed right over.

    Still a little disappointed nobody dug the Pulp Fiction rant. Que sera.

  9. Holy shit, I haven't heard someone make a good Land Shark reference in a long time. How pissed were you guys when that shitty beer came out with the same name? My one high school history teacher used to let us watch old SNL clips in his class, and that one was one of our faves.

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