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The Greatest 24 Hours of Todd Bertuzzi’s Life

Take THAT, TPL’s credibility!

I bet you came here to TPL, expecting to see it on fire. Well, friends, I’m just as surprised as you are that the world hasn’t ceased to exist, or that a ominous black hole hasn’t opened right next door, taking me back to the real Earth where things make sense.

I missed tonight’s Nashville game. It’s DVR’ed, don’t you worry. I’m sure I’ll catch up sooner or later, but tonight was a night for Christmas parties in Brooklyn, so I don’t have my normal post-game face on, but I simply couldn’t go to bed without making mention of Todd Bertuzzi.

I would like to share with you some of the texts, emails, instant messages and tweets I’ve received in the last 24 hours:

12/11 9:47pm FACEBOOK (Clay) :: NOW BERTUZZI??????????? THE WORLD IS ENDING!
12/11 10:08pm TEXT (Mom) :: You’re going to eat shit on the blog tomorrow!
12/11 10:12pm EMAIL (Rob) :: CHICKEN DINNER! And who was it? Mr. Personality himself…you know him…you love him…Todd Bertuzzi.
12/11 10:13pm TWITTER (chollis) :: I can’t wait to read @mpetrella’s reaction.
12/11 10:14pm TWITTER (PioneerHall) :: I can’t wait to hear it. 😉 @mpetrella.
12/12 9:06pm TEXT (Mom) :: So can you eat crow two days in a row?
12/12 9:15 pm TWITTER (chollis) :: Wow. Bertuzzi. What’s up dude. Any thoughts @mpetrella?
12/12 10:47pm TEXT (Mom) :: R U HOME?????!!!
12/12 10:49pm TEXT (Mom) :: Ok. You’re gonna love the end of the gm.
12/12 11:10pm FACEBOOK (Clay) :: Back to back nights?????
12/12 11:30pm COMMENT (Baroque) :: Watching hockey is giving me an existential crisis. Time is out of joint and my reality is all askew.
12/13 12:06am BBM (Casey) :: Wait til you see the game haha
12/13 12:10am TWITTER (ScrappyOctopus) :: @mpetrella Hahaha. Fucking Bert. Dude. Hahaha

After receiving a few of the above messages on my phone during the Christmas party, I went online to check out the box score, see what the hubbub was all about. As soon as I saw Bertuzzi had scored the winner in overtime again, I chuckled, shook my head, and smiled. My fiancee says to me, “don’t tell me Todd Bertuzzi scored in overtime again.” Even she knew what that look was about. This is why I’m marrying her.

I love it. I’m probably one of the biggest Bertuzzi bashers out there, so I felt like it was my place to eat some crow yesterday, which I did, with gusto. I LOVE that my life is a direct conduit for what Todd Bertuzzi is up to, it proves that you’re paying attention. I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

I’m a big boy, I’ll take my licks. In fact, I said in the original anti-Bertuzzi post from this summer, I’ll be HAPPY to say I was wrong when and if. But, I also expect everyone to admit that he sucks from time to time. I don’t remember being bombarded with “hey, you’re right” when he had FOUR GOALS IN THIRTY GAMES. As I said in the comments on Babcock’s Death Stare this morning, I played in college and while I wasn’t exactly a big-time goal scorer (hence my job in NOT hockey), if you put me on a line with Pavel Datsyuk and/or Henrik Zetterberg and/or Dan Cleary and/or Valtteri Fippula and/or Johan Franzen for thirty games, I PROMISE I’d have more than four goals. I would have scored five by accident alone. And I’d do it for a million dollars less than Bertuzzi did (Kenny, call me).

No, friends, I’m not ready to go over to Team Protuzzi (copyright, Petrella 2009). I think these last two games were incredible, and I HOPE he keeps the torrent pace up, but I’ll be right here to drop some I told you so on ya when he doesn’t score again until March. In the meantime, keep the emails, tweets, and comments coming! Are you kidding me? I love it. I’m inclined to give you all my BlackBerry Messenger PIN so I can get it in real time…or invite you all to Google Wave so it can all be in one nice, neat place.

Also of note, Friday and Saturday are notoriously slow around these parts – our traffic dips to about 50% of our normal numbers, but last night and tonight were the HUGE, proving that Todd Bertuzzi wants TPL to succeed.

And since I know you’re dying to know my responses to the above messages, here they are:

12/11 FACEBOOK (Clay) :: Life has ceased to have meaning.
12/11 TEXT (Mom) :: Ha! Probably. Its well-known that I’m among his biggest critics and he really does suck donkey nards most of the time. Six goals, BFD, there just happened to be two tonight.
12/11 EMAIL (Rob) :: Holy shitballs. Christ, how do I work this into TPL?
12/11 TWITTER (chollis/PioneerHall) :: I earned this crow — I’ll eat it like a champ. NOM NOM NOM. WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE RIGHT BEFORE THE PODCAST?!
12/12 TEXT (Mom) :: Oh jeez, now what?
12/12 TEXT (Mom) :: I just read the box score. The night before taping the podcast. I’m screwed.
12/13 TWITTER (ScrappyOctopus) :: HA! Yup. I truly love that everyone’s first thought when Todd Bertuzzi does something good is Michael Petrella. How gangsta.

16 thoughts on “The Greatest 24 Hours of Todd Bertuzzi’s Life”

  1. hehe. even though, you're the first guy i think of too when he does well, we all have ripped on him. I'm just glad to see him step up his game. What I feel that you fail to mention is that in the games since the Blues shootout goal and Stars goal, Bertuzzi has slowly started digging in harder and really faught well and played good defense

    yeah, I don't expect this pace to keep up either but I sure as hell will take it. Hopefully this just builds his confidence going forward because we will need him in the playoffs (assuming we get there)

  3. Andy, it would appear his confidence is coming back, and if there's any reason I failed to mention it is because it shouldn't need to be mentioned. He's a professional hockey player (that's what they tell me) that shouldn't need cues to backcheck and play along the boards. At the same time, I'm totally honored to be the first guy you think of. HA!

    Casey, many apologies. I was driving home when you BBM'ed, and by the time I got home, I had forgotten about it. I was too excited to throw this post together.

  4. Hehe. It is true that it should be the norm for a hockey player, but Bertuzzi has been known for being defensively bad, but lately he's really been among the hardest working guys on the team and one of the most defensively responsible.

    Of course I thought of you. You're like the only blogger that has given him more shit than me. And now I'm converted (at least temporarily)

  5. Mom, is that you? HA

    I, too, love my mom. She's why I love hockey AND swear like a sailor. We've tossed around the idea of having her write a monthly TPL article or something…

  6. Sorry Michael, but to rephrase Chris Pontius I am fair, Stern, but fair. So if Bertuzzi plays well I'm gonna like him for it. But I promise to be the first, nay, second (after you) to call him out if he starts sucking again

  7. Word! As long as I have an ally WHEN he starts sucking again.

    I need to set up some sort of wager. Like, if he scores 20 goals, I'll tattoo my ass or something. But only if someone agrees to something equally absurd if he scores 19 and under. If you've got any ideas, lemme hear em.

  8. Of course. When I start disliking his play again, he's in for it.

    Hmm. I'm not really in on that one. Good idea, but I'm not getting tattooed I think. The furthest I'd go is to say I'll re-record the Todd Bertuzzi song if the goes under 20 goals

  9. Hahaha. I just read this (wayyy behind on reading everyone's stuff). This is too funny. I love that your mom is in on the ragging.

    Also, in case it makes you feel any better, I'm fully prepared to eat my words with a knife and fork if Ville Leino does something amazing. I imagine I'd have to be watching hockey in some sort of parallel/alternate universe for that to happen, but still. It's the thought that counts, right?

  10. If you asked me Thursday, I would have said with 100% confidence it was MUCH more likely that Ville Leino scores 20 goals than does Bertuzzi.

    We are living in that alternate universe right now. Like the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. But less British.

  11. So if we fall and forget to hit the ground we can fly?

    As a european I must say I really appreciate the Britishness though

  12. I have no discernible beef with the Brits… I just can't imagine Bertuzzi with a British accent. I can't tell if that would make him SCARIER or less scary…

  13. Um, that really depends on the accent. Oxford english would make him laughable, while working class British, Scouse (Liverpool area) or Scottish would make him really, really much scarier

  14. The answer to life, the universe and everything is 42.

    Incidentally, that is twice the amount of Ville Leino's #.

    Just putting it out there…now I'm going to walk away.

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