so true. if he gets into a puck battle against the boards from the hash marks on down, i mentally count down from 3 seconds until the puck is headed toward our net, likely one-timed from the slot, likely by an opposing team’s fourth liner.

he won’t even use that humongous body to just protect the puck at the boards. maybe it was because i was so close but it really struck me when they were here in phoenix. i found myself yelling at him over that time and again. he won’t battle at all. even wee hudler will battle at the boards for the puck occasionally. come on, man. it’s like he can’t stand to be touched. look, i get that, i do, but in that case, you’re in the wrong sport, buddy. go play tennis or something. singles, not doubles probably.

Scoring immediately after him blowing them.” Hahas, I’m 12 years old.

two thoughts:

1) if burnside does not stop saying “my friend” and “trusted friend” in every piece of media he does, i’m going to start boycotting espn.com, my trusted friends and colleagues;

2) lebrun’s comments are telling, saying he still sometimes looks like a call-up. i guess most of the league must be wise to his shortcomings, so realistically, where does he end up? i think he’ll get offered 1-2 years with crap money from detroit and maybe bounce.

I’m not usually one to get up in arms about people not being physical, because the Red Wings are a VERY physical team — just not in the way that most other clubs are (with big hits, etc). The way that guys like Pavel Datsyuk and Valtteri Filppula can fight off oncoming defensemen and retain possession is incredible and is absolutely a physical aspect of hockey.

That said, if you’re graced with the stature of someone like Jonathan Ericsson, it would be great if he played more physically. And again, I don’t mean hitting people into the 7th row. I just mean completing your checks and not (seemingly) being terrified of physical contact. I can count on one hand how many times he’s actually put a body on someone effectively — whether that was separating someone from a puck or finishing a check to prevent them from, you know, scoring immediately after blowing by him.

Maybe even a bipedal one-eyed creature would be better. No depth perception, but at least the brain might work better.

ME: Hello.
CHRIS BURKE:Yeah hi. I’m ‘Life goes on’s’ Chris Burke.
ME: What can I do for you?
CHRIS BURKE: I am going to have to ask you to quit associating Jonny Ericsson with Corky. That guy is a fucking retard. And even though those skate blades are on his feet, I really don’t think he should be allowed within 10 feet of any sharp objects. GOOD DAY SIR. *slams phone*

Wow. I’m not even going to pull stats or talk “rationally” or with “any semblance of sanity”, I’m just going to talk shit and call him names. I have seriously focused my attention solely on him and seriously does something so bone-headed that he actually gives up about 3 quality scoring chances a game. And one of those usually bites the Wings in the ass. He honestly fucks up so bad that anybody paired with him usually looks shittier because they are trying to do the job of two defensemen. Plus they are worried he might kill them on the ice with sheer stupidity. And Fuckface E, quit trying to emulate the other defensive players, it just makes you look like an orangutan on skates pretending to be human. Like trying to pull off a Rafalski stretch pass. You butcher to the point that it’s like watching a great dane trying to screw a chihuahua. It’s awkward. It never works. Someone’s dick gets broken. Something dies. And all kids in a 10 mile radius feel a part of their soul die.

I’ve never hid my disdain for Mr. Jonny Ericsson. You could probably search my tweets and find me comparing him to some form of excrement a handful of times. He’s such a liability that I don’t think that he can be Lebda’d up and given away. I could go on about this forever, but why bother.

He should just quit pretending to be a hockey player and go get a job as a vacuum. Because he sure is awesome at sucking. Bazinnng.

No, waivers are out the door, too. Once the season is over, you’re welcome to every player you have under contract.

I doubt Meech plays before any of the guys on the roster, but he (along with Smith and Janik) will be in Detroit — assuming the Griffins are out of the playoffs themselves — ready to go, in case.