Mar 23 :: Rubbin’, son, is racin’

...and then the volcano blasts...and then the human souls go into the aliens...and then the aliens give some of us power...

WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN?
The Red Wings and Canucks face off as the top two seeds in the Western Conference. Wednesday evening, 7:30pm Eastern.

NOW WHERE WERE WE?
This is the fourth and final game between the two top squads, with the Wings leading the season series 2-1. The most recent matchup was January 8th, and the Wings were 2-1 shootout winners. Neither hero from that game will be in tonight’s contest, with Johan Franzen (regulation goal scorer) and Jiri Hudler (shootout winner) ailing.

BEST NAME NOMINEE
Tanner Glass.

THEIR LAST GAMES
:: Detroit rallied, but fell short, losing 5-4 to the Penguins in a shootout on Monday.
:: Vancouver lost 3-1 to the Coyotes on Friday. Like all teams favored by the League, they’ve had eleven thousand days off to prepare for the Red Wings.

EXPECTED LINEUP
By special request, the TPL Glossary is ready to jailsex your eyes.
Cleary — Zetterberg — Holmstrom
Filppula — Modano — Abdelkader
Eaves — Helm — Miller
Draper — Mursak — Salei

Lidstrom — Ericsson
Kronwall — Stuart
Kindl — Rafalski

Howard
Osgood

OH GOOD, THERE ARE INJURIES
Jiri Hudler [H2N2 flu]
Johan Franzen [connecticazoink]
Pavel Datsyuk [lower body]
Todd Bertuzzi [sore back]

The TPL Name Game “Three Stars”
Disch: Hakan “Well I Know a Damn Race Driver When I See One” Andersson
Petrella: Chris “You and Rowdy Have the Same Sickness, It’s Called Denial and it’s Probably Going to Kill You Both” Osgood
Hollis: Jonathan “Well, Hell Yes Its Your Fault” Ericsson
Bonus Points: Dany “Let Me Out of the Car!” Heatley
*Now it’s up to you! Think up your best names and throw them in the comments — the best one will be shared for all to enjoy on the TPL Facebook Page. The best of the best will be pitted against one another at season’s end, and the winner takes home a TPL Shirt of their choice.*

TIDBITS
:: Another day, another injury, as Todd Bertuzzi joins Pavel Datsyuk, Johan Franzen, and Jiri Hudler on the shelf.
:: Following a game and a half of stellar play, Joey MacDonald was sent back to Grand Rapids so that Jan Mursak could be called up. The team will dress 11 forwards and 7 defensemen.
:: Chris Osgood thinks he’s well enough to dress as a backup after spending a week handcuffing the Red Wings roster.
:: Speaking of injuries, the Canucks have had a rough go — particularly on the blueline. They’re without Lee Sweatt, Alexander Edler, Andrew Alberts, Kevin Bieksa, Manny Malhotra, Aaron Rome, Tanner Glass, and Mikael “Hit the Pace Car” Samuelsson.
:: PREDICTION — Canucks 4, Red Wings 2. Sorry. I don’t like this one.

WHAT WE LEARNED AGAINST THE PENGUINS
Spotting a JV team four goals is usually enough.

8 thoughts on “Mar 23 :: Rubbin’, son, is racin’”

  1. Tomas “we’re eating ice cream right now” Holmstrom
    Jonathan “I had sponsors in from all over the coast and I’m hugging, and holding hands, and praying for a good showin’. And what do we do? We end up looking like a monkey f*cking a football out there” Ericsson
    Darren “Loose is fast, and on the edge of out of control” Helm

  2. LOVE the caption. Hahas!

    Chris ” I’m not sayin’ that his ways are antiquated but it’d help to have a car that handled properly and didn’t blow engines.” Osgood
    Troy ” What’s your name? ” Passingham

  3. My .02:

    Evgeni “If you’re from California, you’re not a Yankee. You’re not really anything.” Nabokov
    Darren “What is the one thing you absolutely need to do to win a race?” Helm
    Matt “Control is an illusion, you infantile egomaniac.” Cooke
    Jonathan “We end up looking like a monkey fucking a football out there.” Ericsson

  4. oops. I totally missed that Alvin beat me to the monkey-Ericsson joke. Sorry, not trying to steal your (days of) thunder.

  5. This is just too much fun.

    Jiri “Well I don’t mind spreadin’ a little fertilizer round now and then.” Hudler

  6. You know I can’t NOT participate in this–too irresistible. Plus, I don’t know any Canucks blogs that play this game, so please allow my following contributions from the other side of enemy lines:

    Ryan “Wait–hockey wut? I thought this was just an underwear modeling gig. In Detroit. In March.” Kesler
    Roberto “I quietly tolerate your greasy hair jokes because I make ten fucken million dollars a year, bitchez” Luongo
    Sami “I do more with just one good testicle by 9am then the rest of you do all day” Salo

    And for honorable mention:
    Kyle “I’ve discovered In-N-Out down here in Cali. I’m never going back to Vancouver” Wellwood

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