“Oh, man — what a good bunch of partying at that discotech. Way awesome. I myself drank like five liters of beer. Any more and I would have ended up in hospital. I almost got sex on this girl. But it was so expensive, each drink was like six dollars forty.”

Unfortunately my neighbour just came over after a hard day of labour. We’re going to watch our brand new colour telly, although I fear I may have to use the loo after too many pints, otherwise I may have an accident, and that would be pretty brutal, eh?

I have no idea what COLOURS are.

Can you ring my mobile and tell me what the bollocks you’re spouting?

The only way to travel

Now to ride out this day to the end so I can go home and sleep off this agony, and hopefully find my traffic school completion certificate in the mail since it is due at the court tomorrow.

“…two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers… Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls.”